O I am so sorry that that is how you feel and sometimes how you have been treated by others. I have sometimes been treated that way too. I think that when you need a lot more from a person than they are able to give of themselves they will have to back out of the relationship. But I noticed after this happened to me a couple times I started expecting it from others and acting in ways that almost encouraged them to leave me alone.

Not all people are greedy, not all people are bad and you shouldn't stop reaching out just because a few of them have left you by the wayside. Keep reaching out to them because we all need friends and they probably just don't know how much you need a friend and their friendship. Sometimes people don't notice things happening with those around them. Sometimes you just get so wrapped up in yourself and what is going on in your life that you can not manage to see others. They aren't doing this maliciously or self centeredly they just may not be able to see your hurt and needs. I know that I have probably done this from time to time myself. Give others a bit of slack because there are some times when you will need that same slack.

Don't give up on the world because there is so much good out there right along with the hurt and the pain. Even if all you can see right now is the pain if you close yourself from others the pain that will bring is much worse if less sharp.

I hope this will help. I don't mean to be cruel at all and I just want you to have a little happiness. I hope that you find a friend soon or reconnect with an old friend who you have drifted away from. I have found that the greatest joys and pains of my life have been found from the interactions with others. Even though there are pains and other people shutting you out sometimes the good times to me make it worth while. Not all people are greedy but all people make mistakes and can be blind to other peoples hurts. Especially if the other person is good at hiding their pain like I know I am.

Persi,

I can tell that youre genuinely interested in people. And when you are not a great conversationalist, then you are most likely a great listener. And it takes a good deal of patience to listen, which is a wonderful trait for you.

I feel that the problem is just that you attempt to make people more important than they deserve. And I say this because you find yourself looking for the work buddy so that you may say hello, and this person never stops to do the same for you. Naturally, you have a right to object to this treatment. And keep it in mind that some people crave attention and usually these are the ones that attract personalities such as your own, which is that of a caring person. Please be careful with how much energy you waste feeding their ego; it is not worth it.

I agree with sundame that you should not give up on finding true friends. You may find better success by taking a specific example of the type of people in which you desire to be closely acquainted and use this method as a guide to finding worthy friends. For example: Look for people who are an extension of yourself. These will be those with personalities such as you, a spouse, your children, a favorite relative (such as a grandparent or an aunt/uncle/cousin) and certain other personalities having all or some of your personal interest like, sports, hobbies, politics, religion, movies and other adventures you enjoy. And when you cant think of how to make a big approach with fancy words, simply comment on the weather or an interesting current event will sometimes break the ice with new people contacts. Try your best to steer clear of people who only want to talk about themselves though; and in addition to that, look for honesty and integrity in people you are interested in befriending. Only please think of your feelings as priority and if you must do delete phone numbers and other contact info where there is no noticeable friendly progress.

I hope that all works out for your best!

Thank you. I just wish I wouldn't feel this hurt . I just feel like it's easier to know that I am alone in this, because it hurts so much more when people let you down. So why rely on people at all? If I am too demanding a friend, than maybe I shouldn't have friends. I'm sorry. This is something I wrestled with a lot , I had trouble making friends as a kid, and I thought it got better in high school, but I always felt like people pitied me more than they were my friend.Ijust can't get that thought out of my own head.

I understand Persi and I can sense how this is hurting you. Now, if at anytime you want to add me as a friend. I want this, okay, add me. What I hope for you to do today is treat yourself as real special. Find your favorite movie, pop some popcorn, get out some bump to bump or soft music, go for a walk, spend time with your pets, read a good book, do charity service, hug somebody, or anything that will lift you out of this sad and hurtful mood. If you need me, I will be in and out of this site for today and back this time next week. I will be happy to respond to you at this thread and I will be looking in on you today so please update when things feel happier. You are important and I care that you feel much better.

Thank you, I'm going to try.

My pleasure, Persi!

I just got REALLY hurt from an ex friend and I feel like I could have wrote this. ((hugs)) We are who we are and we just have to believe in that, keep it happy and be very careful who we friend.

Thank you, all of you!

HI PERSI,

I BE HAPPY TO BE FRIEND YOU SWEETS!!! YOUR POST IS MUCH LIKE MY OWN LIFE WAS FEEL FREE TO ADD ME AS A FRIEND ON HERE GOD BLESS HUGGLES N CUDDLES DC

I found it very hard to keep up conversations with people but my h has no problems and so even my girlfriends are just as much his girlfriends because they talk more than me sometimes I will be there and do talk .........I have finaly fingered it out I am not out going to work at it you have to have a lot of knolage about a lot of things to keep a conversation going and I have a problem with my shorterm memorie ....so can't rember a lot of things when I need to but I have 4 good frends who I know realy like me and some on line .....and that is enough for me ......I find also if people see that you might mot look like you don't want to talk they won't approach you ...........god bless

I just wish someone would push, but I feel like I have to see if they really care, or if they're asking because they feel obligated to. I wonder if that is a barrier I made or a line they won't cross. I need to go to sleep now. Hopefully, sleep will hit me fast.

I'm still upset but for the most part people are oblivious. Saw the psych but was more confused leaving the office than going in. A part of me wants someone to come and fix it and say, here, here is the solution and make it go away. That is unrealistic I know, so I am left still feeling crappy and still trying to wrestle with my conscience to get out.

I feel like I just met my twin lol. I have felt this exact same way since I was in high school. The truth is, you gotta do things which make you a likable person. To start with, your depression doesn't help matters. If you truly seeks friendships with people, you have to be able to uplift their spirits. Being depressed all the time, I'm sorry to say, does not accomplish that goal.

You have to be able to bring something to the table. Now weather thats making people happy, making people laugh, or just being there for them in their times of need. Look at what I do, people come on here looking for help, they are depressed, they are not happy, or lonly.

What do I bring to the table? I go out of my way to come onto this site, read their posts, and offer my guidance, and most of all my loving support. I give them huggs, I remind them of how amazing they are, and sometimes I even tell them that I love them.

You get what you give in life. I want to give people love, people need that. Consider what you are doing in your life. If you arn't making people happy, making people laugh, giving people support, and instead you are bringing them down, consider what you can do to change that.

Find out if any of them do get togethers, stuff like parties, barbacue cookouts. Anything, find out what people like to do in their spare time, maybe you can join them in doing the same! I have faith in you, I know you can do it! Start believing in yourself, start loving yourself, you deserve it!

HUGGLES & CUDDLES
Ashley

Weird isn't it? I've had several that I used to call regularly then when I stopped, because it was mostly going in one direction, they were put out and the "Oh I miss you coming over and calling, what's wrong?" ...very strange to not even know someone actually does like you. I guess it's the human animal huh?

It certainly IS possible your friends are completely unaware you feel this way.

Thank you, all of you for the awesome comments. It helped me weather the storm, until one of my friends actually did reach out to me. It felt so weird, and childish , but just knowing at least someone actually cared about me and not out of some strange familial obligation, made things not feel so bad. I can say I at least have one friend. As for the other people I thought of as my friends, I don't know. Maybe I've got to push myself to go out there more. I think one of my friendships, is unfortunately out of sight out of mind. The other friend, well we really are two very different people and if it wasn't for work we probably wouldn't have been friends in the first place. I've really gotten used to be disappointed by her, so I think I jut have to stop calling it a friendship. She's an acquaintance. I have to get out there more, and meet people with similar interest to mine.