Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
My friend Alice is having a hard time with her husband. He's diabetic and takes a lot of different medications. She said lately all he does is sleep and he hasn't gone to work in over a week. He went to the doctor last week and they changed his medication. It hasn't helped. Part of that is because he doesn't always take his medicine. And he lies to his doctor. Well, I kind of yelled at her. He's diabetic for God's sake! Why aren't you going to the doctor with him? Why aren't you making sure he takes his meds? What's wrong with you? Do you love him or not? Oops! Should not have said that.
She shut me up right away and really made me think. This is some of what she said. You don't know what it's like to come home after a hard day at work and not know what kind of mood he's going to be in. Somedays he's an irrational, snarling beast. Everything just pisses him off. I know he doesn't feel good. But isn't that his fault? If he really loved me wouldn't he take better care of himself? He's the one not taking his meds. He's the one that put on 100 pounds since we got married. I try to listen to him but somedays I just can't take it. It's the same shit over and over again. No matter what I say, it's always the wrong thing. I'm just not listening- he can't talk to me. I don't love him enough. He works so hard and all I do is complain. I'm not very supportive. 40 years of this crap. He never listens to me. What about me? Some days I just want to cry. I hate my job too.
She went on like that for a while. And I just sat there feeling like an ass. Partly beacause I made her cry and partly because I see a little of myself there. I guess the long and the short of it is- it's hard to live with and love someone who suffers from an illness. Whether it's physical or mental, it's still a hard road. It's hard to know what to say or do. Sometimes it's like you're taking on more that you bargained for. You sit around waiting for it to get better. And before you know it, you can't remember the good.
Somebody once told me-"Life is 5% what happens to you and 95% how you react to it."
Thanks for listening.
She shut me up right away and really made me think. This is some of what she said. You don't know what it's like to come home after a hard day at work and not know what kind of mood he's going to be in. Somedays he's an irrational, snarling beast. Everything just pisses him off. I know he doesn't feel good. But isn't that his fault? If he really loved me wouldn't he take better care of himself? He's the one not taking his meds. He's the one that put on 100 pounds since we got married. I try to listen to him but somedays I just can't take it. It's the same shit over and over again. No matter what I say, it's always the wrong thing. I'm just not listening- he can't talk to me. I don't love him enough. He works so hard and all I do is complain. I'm not very supportive. 40 years of this crap. He never listens to me. What about me? Some days I just want to cry. I hate my job too.
She went on like that for a while. And I just sat there feeling like an ass. Partly beacause I made her cry and partly because I see a little of myself there. I guess the long and the short of it is- it's hard to live with and love someone who suffers from an illness. Whether it's physical or mental, it's still a hard road. It's hard to know what to say or do. Sometimes it's like you're taking on more that you bargained for. You sit around waiting for it to get better. And before you know it, you can't remember the good.
Somebody once told me-"Life is 5% what happens to you and 95% how you react to it."
Thanks for listening.
Do not mean to rant; it is only my opinion, rather passionately stated. Trying to carry a message without carrying the mess.
I've had some family turn into caretakers for a spouse and the hardest thing is to reach out of help from others, because sometimes they feel like they have to do everything themselves. In the end you will be the primary caretaker for a spouse, but it doesn't mean you have to go it alone.
Maybe if there's something someone else can do for her, so she doesn't feel like she has to do everything by herself might help her out.
There is a saying - "The worst vice is advice!"
Yes, it is very difficult to live & love someone with a chronic illness who is not really taking care of himself/herself properly.
I can feel her pain.. My fiance thinks my depression is all in my head and pretty much has told me so.. It debilitating to me but he will never understand. His son has diabetes and understands his sickness full well. Most people will never understand our depression,
Real friends will not allow this to come between them.