my best friend told me a few years ago i needed to stop calling her everytime i got upset and "needed" to talk. she said i was too much for her and she needed her space. i realized then that i had to do something or i would lose the people important to me in my life.

things were kinda weird with us for a bit, but shes been there for me when i need her. we are good friends now even though im now doing really really great.

however, unfortunately, ive noticed myself doing the same hurtful things to other friends, needing them all the time.... i know i need to stop before i push them away.

how do yu make things worse for them gumper?

For some reason, I just can't deal with some things, even when I want people to be jappy, I always fuck up.

I broke down yesterday in front of everyone'
ALl my team mates...

Someone threatened to kill me in front of my friend and I just broke down...in the street in tears.

I didn't want this. :(

so yu truly want ppl to be happy around yu but yu feel like yu spoil their happiness in some way?

Yes, I kinda feel like that.

Theres just things I struggle to deal with at the moment.

Complicated things and they get in the way of the fun we can have together, we have had lots of fun together, lately though its like we are all walking on eggshells and I dont want that.

humm sounds like yu all need to communicate more with each other and decide on a plan of action for yur difficulties?
sometimes its hard to gather the eggshells. lol

I hope we will talk, but not yet.

Im going on holiday for 2 weeks soon...after that maybe.

It is going to be tough though, very tough.

I talk to them every day, or I used to, so keeping space will be hard. :(

Thx for sidetracking my post hehe.

I wanted other peoples experiences hehe.

x

Dear Gumper, I'm still not real clear on what you mean by "make it to the other side". Do you mean, a feeling of getting better, of healing?

The other side, like the turning point where you realise your in a self destructive spiral and snap out of it.

Does that help?

Okay, just asking.

be proud of yourself grumper that you are aware of this point. many are not until they are way past the point of being able to do anything about it. but now you have the tough task of trying to figure out what to do. Ive seen your posts on here, you do make an effort, if your friends are not supportive of you then you have to communicate (TRUST me i know how hard that is!) but you can.

figure out what you want, take your 2 week vacation to have fun and not stress about how you "make things worse for people".

good luck in everything -hugggs-

for me it isn't a cross to the other side, more like work in progress...YET, if I look back, I can see how far I came! Yep, it feels good!

hey...i am sorry you are feeling so bad. i am sure all involved care and only want the best for you. i hope you can see that and accept things that you can't change and move past it soon. sometimes we don't get what we want and that is ok, right? ppl can't help what they feel and i am sure it was never meant to hurt you, but you do need to accept it and try to make changes so you can find happiness for yourself. i hope you feel better soon.

Thats what im trying for bmoney, thx for the support, I know you have a good idea whats going on, so your support is very appreciated.

/hug

When we live in the future or dwell in the past.

It makes it difficult for us to pay attention to the present MOMENT.

We don't really see the people we are with and miss the good things arround us Sunrise, Sunset, our children, our grandchildrens innocence and unconditional love and trust.

We miss a good walk or a heart to heart talk with the closest people in our lives.

When we skip the present moment, we have no life because the past is already gone HISTORY and the future never arrives. All we have is the MOMENT.

The present is the most valuable thing we have and will ever have it is all we have.

Yet we continue fretting about what happened in the PAST and WORRYING about what will happen in the future we have no control to change the past or predict the future.

What we can do is to live to day the MOMENT and stop our mind's drive to think about yesterday, to-morrow, next week, next year.

From this MOMENT we can start a new and that goes for every new MOMEMT we have the now and it is time to start living to the fullest.

To day we can tell someone we love them give him or her a warm hug and encourage him or her. Mend that relationship. Make a confession this is the day to appreciate our lives and live each moment like it is our last MOMENT

"Carpe diem" Latin for " Seize the day"