Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
Trying with all of my might to let go. I've never tried so hard. Almost 3 years, and plans for marriage. 8 months later, he no longer wants me. He has made it clear that there will be no getting back together, it's no longer he doesn't want a serious relationship at this age, he just doesn't want me. I just don't understand. I was kind, did so much for him, loved him and told him regularly, encouraged him to follow all of his dreams. I thought he was it, he felt the same way. I asked him what happened and all he can say is that he changed his mind. How?? I just don't understand. More than anything, I just want to let go and not feel anything the way that he doesn't feel anything for me. But I can't I still have this deep hope in my heart that we will end up together, maybe years later. I still have hope that it will be him and I. But I know I shouldn't do that! I know I should LET GO. LET him go, let our future go, but anytime I come close to that, I still have this lingering hope in my heart. I think about some of his qualities that weren't my favorite, and I still have love for that boy. Did I just love too much? How do I let go, please someone, anyone help. This is too much pain and I can't take much more.
Who knows why? i had my heart broken 4 yrs ago and I still .. well.
Letting him go involved realising he wasn't who I thought he was. The reality is that if someone has committed to you, jumped in the pool as it were, then they don't 'change their mind'.
This guy hasn't changed his mind. He never made it up in the first place. He hid that from you in some way, but he had not committed. He always had one foot in, and one foot out the door.
And at some point not being with you weighed up better than being with you. Now, that could have been something to do with you, in which case you're unlikely to figure it out for a year or more. Or it might have been something to do with him, in which case that'll dawn on you down the track as well.
If you let yourself grieve then at the end, when the pain starts to go (it goes. it does actually, even though it's really awful for the first year) you'll start to see the real picture.
But he's not coming back, And in a year or so you will have someone else and that person will naturally be more your kind of person. :) Hang on in there. This is incredibly painful and understanding and healing will take time. xx
It may look so good that you'll think oh! that's him or her for life but not always so.
Its important to clearly define what two partners want from a relationship from the very start.
If a man can not objectively and clearly state his expected outcome from a relationship especially if what he wants do not cohere with yours' expectation, I think it could be wrong to proceed. Although it can still hit the bricks with expectations stated but not very often.
If you have fallen victim of a crashed relationship, always remember that both of you were not born together and if you die due to heart brokenness, you die alone while he moves on to find happiness.
So I advice you step up and out to find happiness by doing things that make you happy, then other things will fall into places.
I wish you luck as I ask for yours in return.
Think twice before you make any life style changes. Take as much time as you need. If he is for real then he will wait and you will be sure to not make another mistake. Ask yourself, what is it that motivates your decisions?, Who will this help, you or him.
Keep it simple and keep it moving. Much love.
Often times when we have trouble letting go of a past relationship partner, its because they represented something for us-hope, happiness, acceptance, security, etc. However, we need to be settled in those things ourselves first in order to be able to have the healthy and loving relationship we so deeply desire. Yet, if we work on other relationship or life goals in our lives with friends, family, and occupational acquaintances, then we can find fulfillment in our daily lives. Thus preparing ourselves for our healthy mate by making sure that we are healthy for when we meet them. So, its a win/win! Plus, its a nice vacation for the mind to seek out potential successes we can have, instead of negatively fixating on past hurts. Praying for you as you walk through this time in your life, that you are encouraged and blessed with positive perspective as we enter 2017. :)
~Peace and Love Friend!