Depression is a very serious illness and you should seek help from a psychiatrist and therapist. We can't battle this stuff alone. I hope you start feeling better soon.

I'm seeing a therapist but it's hard to open up and tell her how bad it really is. I'm just lost and so hopeless

This is a deep, dark place you've fallen into. I've been there; wished I could just stop existing, or never have been born, too afraid to end my life. Look for hope. I found hope in my Christian faith, in the connections I make with others, in the light in the eyes of others, in the people I can help, in the people who want to help me. Life is beautiful. I know right now the world seems a dark, intimidating place. I am so sorry about that. I pray that those of us here on dailystrength can help support you. As Restful said, seek help. If seeing someone in person is too hard, text 741741 to remain anonymous and talk to someone about what you're feeling this.
You are strong, and you are not pathetic, just suffering. You are not your depression. I hope you can find the light again, because it's awful that you are struggling like this. Please seek out help; this is a giant that is so hard to try to conquer on our own, as Restful also mentioned.

Thank you for your words and I am getting help but I feel unfixable. I'm starting to believe I truly have no purpose in life. I have no value in anyone's life. Some days I'm okay with knowing i have no worth while others I feel like I'm just a waste of space & should end it. I wish therapy helped.

Definitely know that feeling. Thanks for sticking with us, though. Sometimes it takes a lot for therapy to help. For some it comes faster than others, I've seen this happen. In my own life things have moved slowly but I am in a bit of a remission right now and although the struggles in between the remission are bad and the remission itself is still not at a normal emotional state, things are less bad, and there are resources to help you cope besides just therapy. Medication, emotional support animal, connecting with others, all these things are useful.
I know you may see yourself as worthless or a waste of space; I have said the exact same words/felt the same way about me, but I can tell you that's not reality. Sometimes our minds convince us of things that are not true. Is your psychologist teaching you anything? I spent several years doing therapy where people mostly just talked to me. That never did do much long term for me anyways. If they are not maybe see if you can find a CBT or DBT therapist who can help you.
If they are, I get it. I often feel that therapy is way overrated. It does work sometimes but isn't the foolproof thing that people try to portray it as. Depression stinks and some of us have to live with it a long time but isn't life is worth those moments when it's not quite as bad? Perhaps right now you feel that it is not but maybe in the future you will change your mind. so I encourage you to try to hold on for now, and know we support you. Of course, I know this is a lot to ask of you but I also know you are brave and can make it through.
You are valuable and you matter. It would be very sad if you were to leave this world!

I know the exact feeling you describe and still currently deal with it. All I can say is to keep pushing because it will get better, you will have ups and downs and good days and bad. The important thing is to keep going, you will be stronger more and more each time.

At this point it all just seems like to much work for the end result not being worth it. I feel like I'm just over trying and I will my life never fully happy

I get that. Right now it does feel like that, and that's valid.
But, even though it's so hard, don't give up, please. You may find that experience and time changes your mind on if it is worth it and ending your life takes away that opportunity.

Thank you I just wish I had someone in my life so I didn't have to fight this fight alone.

Yeah I know ): we are here for you. I hope someone comes into your life soon, so you don't have to feel so alone.

Thanks me too

While there is breath, there is hope.

Please remember a three letter word: YET.

You haven't found help in solving your problems YET.

You haven't found freedom from your negative thoughts and feelings YET.

You haven't found the answers you are looking for YET.

You haven't found help with your relationships YET.

YET there are lasting answers to each of the above. Don't quit and give up on life just because you haven't found these things YET.

I have experienced the deep dark piercing gripping thoughts and feelings of wanting to end it all. Most of us have faced that monster at least once in our lives. Some of us more deeply pierced and more often than others. Rejection can be a huge gaping hole in our hearts but it is not totally unbearable or unhealable.

Emotional pain can be extreme but we don't base our lives on our feelings. Instead we base our lives on doing what is good and right--the feelings will follow.

First thing is to find out what are the lies you are believing. Lies like--nobody loves me, nobody cares, life isn't worth living, it is useless, nobody will miss me, I can't stand this pain any more, etc...these are all lies.

Once you recognize them as lies and stop agreeing with these lies, your feelings will change. And your life will change. We shouldn't live our lives according to our feelings or according to lies. Replace the lies with the real truth. Like--there are people who really do love me-maybe they haven't expressed it to me lately in ways that I need it expressed.

Another truth: there are people who care. That is even shown by the replies to your post. Out of 7 billion people on this planet- -maybe you haven't found some more of these people YET. There are people in your life who really do care but haven't expressed it to you lately in ways that you may need. Like maybe you and your partner do care about each other but need to find solutions to some long standing issues that haven't been resolved YET.

Another truth: Life IS worth living. Life IS better than death. Maybe you haven't found your life purpose YET but you do have one. Like taking care of your little one who needs a Mommy.

Another truth: there will be people who know you that will desperately miss you. Don't assume you know their inner thoughts and feelings or how they would be impacted by losing you. You aren't them so you can't assume to know that they won't miss you as a fact. It is a lie that people won't miss you. They will miss you beyond words.

Another truth: I can stand this pain. I have endured it already and have the strength to handle it longer.

Now that you can see the lies and see the truth, it is your choice to believe the lie or believe the truth. Your choice to act upon the lie or act upon the truth. When you believe the truth, those negative feelings leave with the lie.

The next thing is that you haven't been able to see how important you are. Maybe you don't feel important because of how others have treated you lately. But again--those are just feelings based on what? The truth is--you are valuable beyond measure no matter what you have done or do or has been done to you. You are unique and the only one of a kind out of 7 billion people which makes you very valuable and irreplaceable. There is no-one with your personality, fingerprints, talents, abilities. Like no two snowflakes are alike. You are needed by someone in this world--your partner, your child, your parents, your siblings, your friends. There is a little one who desperately needs a Mommy--don't hurt this little one beyond words and deny this child of a Mom for the rest of that child's life. Why make your own child suffer for a lifetime of not having a Mommy?

Most of all--it is so important to find solutions to the relationships in your life that are hurting--ditching someone isn't finding the solution. Working through the unresolved issues is. Love can not be based on how we feel because feelings change throughout the day.

Love is based on our actions and our choice to love. The feelings follow our choices. The feelings also follow our actions. The positive feelings follow the real truth. The lie is that you no longer "love" someone--are you saying you no longer have certain "feelings". Love is not based on feelings. It is based on a commitment to be kind, gentle, caring towards another. The feelings of warmth will follow when we do that.

I raised four kids--it is a lot of work. I didn't love my kids based on their feelings towards me or my feelings towards them. When I had to get up in the night to help one if them and didnt feel like it, I did it out of kindness and loyalty. I did it because I loved them--an action first. The feelings of warmth came after. I showed caring towards my child and then I felt the warm fuzzies after. I didn't base my love on the warm fuzzies I got from my kids first.

Being a partner and being a Mom is based on commitment with no back escape door. Its rewards are amazing but life can be tough and we need to stick it out instead of try to exit. That brings untold pain and heartache beyond words.

And what if beyond deaths door you dont find any relief. The lie--things will be better if I die. We may "feel" like that--or just want the pain to end. Put the effort into getting help on improving your relationship instead of ditching it and you will be rewarded.

Maybe couples counselling to find out the roots to the sexual dysfunction. It could even be a medical issue. Get help with your anger issues. What is making you angry? There are solutions. Anger can sour our feelings of love. So can unrealistic expectations of others. So can lots of other reasons for our anger that can cause rifts in relationship. It is worth salvaging. Your child needs a stable home. You have the power and strength to improve your home. You have the choice to make it better or to tear it down.

You have the choice to believe the lies or to believe the truth and live. For the sake of yourself and your family, relatives, and friends--chose LIFE.

One last thought--my 27 yr old daughter was on antidepressants. We didn't know that these antidepressants actaully had suicide as a side effect. These drugs killed her. So if you are on any kind of medication for any reason, check very carefully to find out if suicide thoughts are a side effect. If it is, get switched to something that doesn't have that as a side effect if you absolutely have to have meds at all.

Remember: there are answers to your relationship problems and personal situation even if you haven't found them YET. You will find them. Keep seeking!! Keep going forward. You are worth it. Your relationship with your partner is worth it. Your child is worth it. Your family and friends DO care. You are needed. You are important.

Re-read all your replies for extra encouragement when you need a boost!!

And please remember:

While there is breath there is hope!!

Your life is sad and pathetic, are you able to expand on that as in what makes it so?

I am not religious, so please don't read me wrong, but in the Bible a phrase is found it being "judge not and, ye shall not be judged". Would it be fair for me to say that your greatest critic of self is you?

When we set personal high standards we eventually fall, when we set no standards at all the sky becomes the limit. I suggest to you that you let go of the past because it's history, worry not about the future because it's a mystery, and live only in the present moment and, you do that by being CONSCIOUS of your thoughts, as opposed to being habitually UNCONSCIOUS of them, which most of us are.

Life is a gift, it's not given to us to throw away at a moments notice, you was given life to make a difference in this world and, before you die you are EXPECTED to do so.

I was my life is sad and pathetic because I have no friends & I really mean that no one replies when they do it's short & no one wants to hang out or talk with me. My mom is always to busy for me & my dad would rather go out drinking then spend time with me. I'm a bad parent my son is out of control & doesn't listen at all. I have no patience with him and often snap at him because I can't handle parenting. I failed out of college so there goes my dreams of being anything more then a waitress. I have nothing going on in my life and don't see a bright furture for myself. That's why it's sad

Im starting to lose my strength. It seems like everyday I talk to talk myself out of killing myself & it gets harder ever day