Hi everyone, 

I hope all are well who read this although we are all a part of this group we are doing the best we can right? 

I pray for everyone and give good vibes and hope to everyone on this site as well. 

With that being said, I am having a frustrating time with medication and mental health issues. 

I have been diagnosed and am being treated for bipolar disorder, manic depressive disorder, recovering addiction and recovery, and sever anxiety. I have two main doctors- My primary care physican and my addiction and recovery services physciatrist/doctor. They all work together pretty well but this last time I went to the recovery doctor I was told that my doctor was changing and thigns were going to be different but not to worry but I was not told about any medication change. I know that it is my responsibility to look at my own perscrition labels and keep track of that kind of stuff and trust me I usually do I have just gotten into this haibit or rather routine. ( not a bad one) of just going to the doctor every month and getting my script taking them repeat.. i dont run out early I dont sell them I never share them I take them responsibily so this routine has developed on its own. 

writing about this is making me realize that by disrupting my routine I caused stress to fall on myself pont blank. 

I am used to having 45 doses a month - one and a half a day dose. 

This last month I was perscribed 30 instead. Now when I get my perscription I take some out and them hide the bottle away is a safe place due to old habits dying hard and being safe as well. I take what I need for a few days, so I dont lose a bunch at once I lose on if I misplace my compact I keep them in. Anyway, I recently last week noticed that I was really low when I went to the bottle to grab 4 days more. I looked EVERYWHERE. I thought someone might have like stolen from me. or I thought maybe I had thrown them away and then I stared worrying that I had misplaced or taken them wrong but I kept thinking a whole weeks worth of medication cant be misused or misplaced I wouldnt do that I finally read the label clearly and saw that my dose had been cut from 45 to 30 doses. I was SO THANKFUL and so frustrated at the same time because that meant I was not crazy and that I could/will clear this up in 2 days when I see a new doctor (reloctanly). I think that I habdled it correctly by texting my therapist. he spoke with me back and forth over the weekend and now I feel like everything will be fine. I even have that day off for work. I am just worried about everything that ties into all of this. my doctor leaving me.. having to have a new doctor and tell them my story. the confusion and frustration about the misdosed/misinformation that happened it caused me to think about finding on the street or using again or using marijuana more and more. That is another reason I was so realived to find out that I could get an appointment and fix this. I am okay, I needed to talk to someone about it and I have talked to my girlfriend over the phone about it and she gave me really good feedback, she told me I was strong and that I could do anything and that I need to take some of the stress off of my shoulders and not worry so much but it isnt that easy... I am greatful for her and I am greatful for this site. my relationship is important to me and the comunication is important and feedback on this stuff is always a must for me with a partner I never hide it from them... This is a long distance relationship and I find that difficult at most times but that is a different story for a different day, 

thank you so much for caring and being a part of this site. feedback appreciated always,

                Jessie