Depression Support Group

Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.

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Alphonsus 01/30/2009

Now that I find myself in a state of numb depression, I briefly imagined myself doing something that was previously unimaginable to me -- trolling the boards.

Is it possible that trolling is similar to cutting? A troll comes on the boards and tries to stir up trouble because it causes themselves pain -- at the very least they are trying to stir an emotional reaction in themselves? The hatred and venom of others is a form of validation of their existence, and even the negative emotional reactions are better then the numb feeling of not existing.

The impulse to troll was very fleeting and quickly quashed, but it made me wonder. I thought I'd post this and see what y'all have to say.

deleted_user 01/30/2009

Alph, I believe you are describing what some of us feels at times.

I have trolled the board myself when I was wicked depressed, down and out.

I have no idea how or why, but its that pain that we seek when we feel like that.

Don't feel bad or feel any less of yourself, when it comes down to it, we all are only human and we all have the potential to troll every now n then.

deleted_user 01/30/2009

I have said just that before. In fact I've partaken in other forums away from DS in the past.

Hating myself and then wanting others to do the same validated my self-hate.

Rainer 01/30/2009

Negative attention is still attention. That's what trolls feed on. I can see the similarity (though not a cutter myself).

Don't go to the dark side!!!

repoman1 01/30/2009

I don't know it could be.... Maybe trolls do it for fun to ,but it can be that they just want to lash out to feel better also makes you think ..

deleted_user 01/30/2009

Course the hurt they achieve can be unforgivable. Takes a big person to forgive spite.

deleted_user 01/30/2009

Yes, I think also its an absorbing enough distraction from the anguish in many ways . . . I've certainly been in the state where I've done things I'm not proud of just to try and distract myself from my inner pain. I haven't hurt anyone but myself at those times. But still.

Alphonsus 01/30/2009

The dark side tempts us it does. Give into it I will not.

deleted_user 01/30/2009

think there's merit to this theory.

and i think some just do it for fun....and out of boredom, immaturity...

deleted_user 01/30/2009

A trolling CL would be quite a surreal sight. :P

Alphonsus 01/30/2009

Jeeze. I'd hope I'd be smart enough to change out of my Yoda outfit and go incognito. That's the way the professional trolls do it.

deleted_user 01/30/2009

ya really. lol

deleted_user 01/30/2009

I will admit, I have been here as myself and hiding behind a mask as well. I am not sure how to describe what I felt inside - safety in anon, hatred for myself, hatred for the happiness of others, just plain anger and rage, etc.

deleted_user 01/30/2009

I've been on the dark side myself. And yes, it was definitely similar to what i hear some people say about cutting. It was a way for me to control the emotions coming at me - to cause my own pain so to speak. Rainer's right - sometimes any attention is better than no attention and when we are in the pit of depression it is hard to seek positive attention at times. Especially if we have had it reinforced that negativity gets more attention than positivity.

Alphonsus 01/30/2009

Interesting. Perhaps I have better insight into the mind of a troll now. Four armed is four warned, as they say. Now I just need to figure out how to get an extra pair of arms.

deleted_user 01/30/2009

I do agree that some do troll to make others hurt as much as they hurt, but I also think that in alot of instances, some troll because they need to be noticed, and not necessarily in a negative way. It may come off as lashing out to begin with, but not every person that I have seen troll, has remained a troll.

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