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I think i might be in a toxic relationship, whatever that is. Been in relationship for 9 months. We live bout 5 min apart. We hardly see each other cause he always has something going on w family. He gets depressed bout family stuff w his child and his parents, which is understandable but he wont see doctor and take any meds. He gets real down and shuts me totally out. I try to b e there for him cause i deal w some dpression myself and know how it is. Just wanting some advce. Hard to help someone when they only want it sometimes.
The most important aspect of any relationship be it a friendship or one that is more involved in the intimate sense... is that there must be a foundation of respect, compassion, understanding, and communication above all else. This foundation should be mutual and must not be disregarded by either person.
You must truly reflect on the circumstances and come to terms with what is indeed important to you. If you feel that the other person is not listening, learning, growing, participating, etc... than you must really be honest with yourself and identify with your expectations and your needs.
Again.. communication is ( to me) the most vital part of any healthy relationship and you both must have a willingness and an ability to consider each others feelings and act accordingly.
It may or may not be toxic but if you have great difficulty in discussing your emotional needs and expectations with him, then it may be time to take a long hard look into your own heart and consider how this is negatively affecting you. If you feel that you are settling, not being respected, not being heard, etc... than it is up to you to find the means to resolve the issue(s).
Best of luck and beyond all else... do not compromise your integrity. Be honest with yourself and you will find the answers that you are seeking.
((hugs))
As I believe that you are possibly indicating.. it is not a matter of whether he is a good or bad person as much as whether he is good or bad for YOU.
I see no positive progression from what you've said, and if you continue to invest too much emotionally in this person, I believe that it will prove unhealthy to your emotional stability.
You are... I am sure, very perceptive in identifying your needs as well as what he has been willing/ able to offer... and it is quite obviously leaving you feeling as if it may not be the right situation for you and your son.
I believe that you are on the right track in coming to terms with the situation and with your desires and expectations. It sounds very much as if he doesn't respect your feelings in some regards and that ( to me) spells trouble ahead unless some serious communication begins to happen and he at the very least begins to sincerely listen to you and have a willingness to address your concerns.