First of all your friends more than likely care a lot about you and would like to be there for you not only in the good, but bad times as well. Trust me the biggest mistake you can make is not telling your friends because they have their own things going on. Open up to them and if they tell you something like oh no I don't wanna hear about that or if they don't support you then they aren't your real friends. However, I doubt that they would say that to you. YOU ARE NOT A BURDEN NO MATTER WHAT. You hear me, don't think of yourself like that! trust me I've been in the same place as you. It does get better and you are not alone. No one in the world is alone. Most importantly we cannot let fear control our lives. If you are afraid of the people around you dying then try to bond with them the most you can. Live every day with them to the fullest. Distract yourself doing other things. For example, cooking and going the gym helped me. I understand the difficulty of being a place that triggers you. If you feel that moving away i the best option than do it. Do your parents know about your depression? Have you sought any type of professional help?

Thanks so much lonelystar26. I'll try hard to reach out but the pain is almost unbearable at this point. Thanks for trying to help me. I'm trying to get an IEP so that I can move to a therapeutic school until I feel comfortable returning. My parents know about my depression and I've been going to treatment for about 3 months now.

Okay, if you want to talk about it with me more in depth you can message me instead! Maybe you should seek different forms of therapy

Being a teenager can be very tough. These are your formative years. Don't abort your existence before you even know who you really are.

Read Eckhart Tolle's book, "The Power of Now". Consider starting training in martial arts - they are the most reliable anti-depressant, anti-anxiety "drug" out there.

And no, you're not particularly unusual or evil for having what you describe as "horrible scenarios" flashing through your head. Those are created by existential anxiety, and general disdain for the harshness of this world.

Find ways to survive and adapt. Teenage years are not representative of your life at all. Don't make any sweeping decisions about your existence.

Never give up, honey! You have a lot possibility to become a great individual. Even great people had the hard periods in their life. And is you need a help with writing essay you can use iqessay.com. I also advise you to read the book "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy". This should cheer you up)

Thanks guys that means a lot to me...

Nohbdy121115. I know it's hard to believe i can relate at the age of 45 but i can.
My teenage life was torture.. pure torture.. Looking back it's truly amazing i survived.
I have to agree with some of what people have said here.

1. dont withdraw from your friends.. whether you believe it or not they care.. I know it's hard listening to people who have seemingly normal lives when yours is tormented, but listen to them.. appreciate their lives and hardships for what they are.. and when you are ready.. you can tell them about what is going on with you.. it's not a burden.. it's not bringing them down.. it's you.. asking for help from your friends.. even if that help is just a few minutes of conversation about nothing.. or a movie .. or whatever..

2. Adolescence SUCKS.. it sucks it sucks it sucks.. for everyone.. it's an adjustment period between being reliant on your parents and living the lives they live (or they want you to live) .. and you finding out what YOU want out of YOUR life.. and it IS your life.. It doesnt have to be horrible.. painful.. or awful. the human brain isnt fully developed until around age 25.. so until then.. force yourself to look at the good things you have.. even if they are minuscule.. and decide how you can make those good things BIGGER.. and a larger part of your life.. You have time.. you have control.. and there is help out there for you to get you where YOU want to be.
I didnt really start living MY life until i left for college. then it took me a few years to recoup from the damage my family caused.. then another few years to decide what i wanted to do with my life and how i wanted to live it.. but it was SO worth it.. just to be me..

3. Being alone sucks.. and it's scary to be alone.. but you dont have to be.. ever.. There are always people around who will care about you.. to be honest.. MOST of them will be temporary. I had friends in high school.. then lost them when i went to college.. had to make new friends there.. lost them when i graduated.. had to make new friends in my 20's.. lost them when i went to grad school in my 30's and made new ones.. etc.. relish the time you have with them while they are there.. you may have 1 or 2 people or even some relatives that last more of a "lifetime".. or you may not.. experience all kinds of people from all walks of life.. get to know them and understand them.. help them.. let them help you.. and dont fear the day when they fade because if/when that comes you will have room in your life for someone new.. a new experience.. a new life to learn and grow with.

Sorry everyone i tend to ramble. but I hope this helps.. dont give up at this stage when the game is just beginning..

I can feel your frustration with life; however, you can help yourself perhaps by medication and counseling by an understanding mental-health professional. Also please don’t overlook your spiritual needs: Pour out your heart to God in prayer, 'the peace from God' can help calm you. Philippians 4:6,7

Telling your friends (who definitely love you) does not detract from their success. You are in no way killing their vibe, because they know that, even when you're going through a hard time, you are proud of what they have accomplished. But I guarantee they want to help you, and want you to succeed in everything you strive for. You are not a burden, but if you want to balance it out, you can talk to me sometimes, and your friends sometimes. I understand it can feel burdening to unload everything on the same person all the time, but know that I am always here, I can't treat you differently tomorrow when I see you at school, and I will never judge.