Depression Support Group
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well....another day of going out of my comfort zone....Franny...(the girl im seeing)..is having her family over her house today. She made a million cookies and whatnot. The other day she mentioned it and said i could come So im assuming she wants me to go. Of course she comes from a big family.
ok....yesterday a friend asked me if i could help him with a song today..a song that a company would use for commercials or whatever. I told franny that i would come later...like at 7pm and i kinda felt she didnt like that..she didnt make a big deal about it. But now those plans have cancelled and im going over earlier. She doesnt know that so itll be a lil surprise.
Ok the problem...LOL....i feel so fucking insecure. What am i going to say when they ask me what i do?...tell em nothing? that right now im making no money and spend lots of time on a depression site?
The old me...would just not go and make an excuse. But i dont want to do that. I like Franny...i want to show her that i care...i want to show her family that i care. Ill have to borrow money from my sis for gas....maybe she will give me enough so i can pick up a bottle of wine. My sister loves me...she would do anything for me.
This shoulda been written in my jounal...but i want you all to know that im taking everything ive learned here and going to use it in real life.
Im going to face a fear...something we have been talking about here lately and im going to kick its ass. I dont like how i feel about myself...but sitting around doing nothing is not going to change things.
Fear---- insecure,vulnerable,uncomfortable
Weapon----- bottle of merlot...my love for Franny.
ok....yesterday a friend asked me if i could help him with a song today..a song that a company would use for commercials or whatever. I told franny that i would come later...like at 7pm and i kinda felt she didnt like that..she didnt make a big deal about it. But now those plans have cancelled and im going over earlier. She doesnt know that so itll be a lil surprise.
Ok the problem...LOL....i feel so fucking insecure. What am i going to say when they ask me what i do?...tell em nothing? that right now im making no money and spend lots of time on a depression site?
The old me...would just not go and make an excuse. But i dont want to do that. I like Franny...i want to show her that i care...i want to show her family that i care. Ill have to borrow money from my sis for gas....maybe she will give me enough so i can pick up a bottle of wine. My sister loves me...she would do anything for me.
This shoulda been written in my jounal...but i want you all to know that im taking everything ive learned here and going to use it in real life.
Im going to face a fear...something we have been talking about here lately and im going to kick its ass. I dont like how i feel about myself...but sitting around doing nothing is not going to change things.
Fear---- insecure,vulnerable,uncomfortable
Weapon----- bottle of merlot...my love for Franny.
You're doing great; feeling the fear and facing it anyway. Definition of courage. Good job!
Good luck and have an awesome time :)
Great Job of stepping outside of your comfort zone. I'm your number one fan, do you know that?
Ok, as to the big, fear in front of you. THE QUESTION.
First of all, I believe 100 percent that it shines a light, a huge light of insight, on the person that asks this question at a party as a first question. It's one of the reasons you feel like you do. You are not defined by "what you do" for a living. That is not where your true value lies.
However, realistically, the question probably will come up, (and secretly we know that whoever asks that question doesn't have much depth or compassion, as we all know so many are struggling to get by)
So, it IS good to think about your answer.
What DO you do.
Depending on my mood, I might answer it several ways.
"I do so many things, but mostly I love Franny. And I'm so happy to meet YOU." "Tell me about yourself" "Do you have children?"
This way, the light is shining back on them.
The most important thing is not to feel ashamed because you are struggling.
I might even say that. "Well, at this particular time in my life, I'm struggling to make ends meat"
But at a party, It might be better to take my first suggestion, however, there is NOTHING wrong with my second option either, Kook.
PS
I was once asked that question on the phone, and I had no inner core or sense of myself, that I couldn't even remember to say that I was a mother. I couldn't even remember who I was. So, I understand.
Bravo..For YOU!
Way to go on helping your friend write a song for a commercial.
You, kook, are a jingle writer too. :)