I did not want to get out of bed this morning. That is the absolute hardest part of every single day. I don't want to get up and do it all over again. I do have some easier days, but today was not one. I managed to get up and get the animals fed, laundry folded and put up, and dishes washed. That sounds productive, and it most certainly is, but it is a nightmare when you are miserable on the inside. I would just like, for once, to be able to get up and be optimistic about the day ahead. I broke down on my husband earlier. I was overwhelmed by the feeling of just wanting to feel some kind of normal. My days are currently spent with taking a big handful of medication and researching self help. I do talk with a therapist weekly. She is great. I am desperate to feel better. I am exhausted and my body is always feeling off balance. I am off balance. All I know is in that particular moment, I no longer wanted to try. This has been going on for years and well, I am quite frankly tired of it all. My mood was not great for most of the day, but the darkness has lifted some this evening. I welcome any relief I can get. It kind of restores my hope that better days are ahead. I just have to keep on keeping on, no matter how hard it is. I managed to type up a journal entry and to also get on here to check in and post. It feels good to surround myself (even though virtually) with people who truly understand the struggle. I want to thank you for listening and know that I send peace, love, hugs, and good vibes your way!