Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
i feel like there isn’t enough time to help myself and fix all the problems around me. Not at the same time anyway. I know I have to step away from work and focus on myself but to many people depend on me. It’s like an endless cycle. No one is going to go homeless or hungry if I do so why can’t I just cut the string and let go. If I don’t the stress is going to kill me and I’m serious. On top of the depression and anxiety I have high blood pressure. I’ve eaten myself close to being diabetic cause food makes me feel better and not any food chocolate by the bag just to get a feeling of happiness. I have constant chest pains. I’m up to two packs of cigarettes a day I can’t even breathe. There’s times I hope I won’t wake up in the morning just to get away from it. I know it’s all because of work and I hate it. I don’t even like my job. I was kind of forced into it by my dying father. I think I held onto it so long just because of that. Meanwhile my partners have houses and cars and go on vacations. I can’t even go 45 min away without getting a call to come to work. I just feel like I’m at the end of the road and the only way I can see an out is jumping in front of that speeding truck. Metaphorically speaking that is
A lot of people depend on you but you also say that nobody will go homeless or hungry if you cut the string...can you delegate so that there is less for you to do?
I don't have any experience regarding the working world, really, but it seems to me that if your job is definitely going to kill you then stop working and save your life. Perhaps when you're stronger and can deal with the stresses better you can start again?
I think you need to make a clean break from everything that is stressing you out - that's what I had to do. And I said earlier, "STOP" because that's what I had to do, so that I could turn around and go a different direction.
Look for a wholistic doctor who understands all the body systems and won't just put you on prescription meds.
Also, a big part of my healing came when I changed my thinking. I thought I had to fix or help everyone. I took too much responsibility on myself. I like to read so I started education myself. Adrenaline and Stress by Dr. Archibald Hart was a big help. After I got my adrenaline and cortisol under control I was able to focus on my healing. Rethink How You Think by Dr. David Stoop helped too.
I've often thought of taking my car and riding off like Thelma and Louise. There's an airport nearby and a big mining pit right next to it. I thought it would be a fitting end to speed down the runway and then launch off into the massive canyon. But I'm scared that halfway down I'd have second thoughts. That would kinda suck.
I can just say I'm with you. I understand.