Do you have a power of attorney for your mom? that would give you the ability to make decisions for her when she cannot make healthy decisions for herself. I have had that same issue with not remembering where I have put things, then get extremely upset when I can't find something when I need it, and it has led me in the past to blame others, including my daughter when I couldn't find things, now given there were many times when it was her who had used the item and not placed it back, but I have calmed down so much compared to what I was before. I regret that I got so worked up about things like that, I would get so upset when I couldn't find something. But living alone, I am usually able to find things now. my daughter has grown up and when she does come home for however long she wants to stay, she does not lose my things as much as she used too.

Yes the power of attorney as well as an advance directive for the “what if’s”. It must be hard to as a family member seeing these changes in her behaviors and wanting to give her respect as an adult parent but knowing some of her personality is now acting childish. A veritable conundrum for anyone especially family. Privacy and respect are two things you are able to provide that a home for memory disorders or other nursing home may not be able to provide. So her ability to remain in her own home is a real value in many ways. You’re doing more than you know so be easy on yourself as your plate is full and your own health is very important. You can’t be injured and be a caregiver so give to yourself first.

Thank you for sharing. I have been there with my Grandmother. It is just terrifying for her to not know what is happening. That can come out as anger. It can be frustrating and heartbreaking in not being able to take that terror away from her. The best we can do is to help them be as comfortable as possible, even if that means playing along with their delusions. Playing along to give them comfort, till it passes. It isn't lying to them, it is just loving them in their reality at that moment. Giving them some control over that losing control over everything feeling. You are important too. Never forget that in the misery of seeing someone you love and respect hurting. No shame in knowing that it is just too much, and you need help. I hope this helped. My apologies, if not. God Bless.

I'm sorry to hear that your mom is not well. I think it is wonderful that she is seeking medical treatment. The doctor will be able to talk with you and guide you through her memory loss and accusations.Sometimes as we get older we lose our ability to rationalize and we become fearful of our surroundings. Just reassure your mom that all is well, that she is loved and that you are available if she should need any help. Help keep her environment clutter free and noise free. This could contribute to her restlessness. I know this must be difficult for you at times! I am a nursing assistant and work with individuals with memory loss. It is a challenge! There are programs in my area that are most helpful. Classes on how to handle a memory impaired parent as well as programs for the impaired individual. I do hope for good results when you visit the doctor. Exercise is always good too! Walking outdoors would be refreshing for the both of you. You are correct, you need to watch out for yourself as well. Is there any family or trusted friends nearby? They could come sit with your mom for an hour or two as you go and do the things that you enjoy. Caring for a loved one is not an easy job. I do wish you both well.

I am sorry that this is happening to you and your mother.

My MIL lives with us; she is a minimalist, so she does not have many things to misplace. Not sure if your mom is like that or not, but simplifying her life (ie reducing clutter and ditching things she does not need) may prevent her from accusing you of hiding (or stealing) things.