Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
in my life, I've dealt with bullies, surgery, loss, and family issues. Nothing too extreme. Just basic life things... Maybe
there is something wrong with my eyes. Nothing medicine can fix, something about my stare makes people uncomfortable. When I look at myself in the morning I see a typical, tired, and oily looking teenage girl. My eyes are squinting in the light of my bathroom and I struggle through the morning routine and force myself up the stairs to school.
The kids in my class say I'm creepy and I'm stupid. They say I'm annoying and a stalker because of the boy I liked (I liked him in middle school) I'm almost done with my Sophomore year. I feel like everywhere I turn I see one of his friends... They stare at me like they are going to laugh at me. I dodge them and make a point not to talk about him so they won't relay it back to him. His eyes are worse than mine.
My eyes hold a certain amount of what I would think is intensity and maturity. My Aunt always said I was an old soul, maybe that's why nobody likes looking me in the eyes? I wish that I could be seen as who I really am. I'm very good with animals and babies, but everyone else gets a little uncomfortable when they see my Eyes.
I can remember in 8th grade my Art teacher would always comment on how special I was and how good my artwork was, she seemed genuinely sad when I couldn't continue because I became too depressed from all the bullying. I never wanted her to see me as someone who was weak and slowly being turned into a dead-eyed zombie girl.
On the bright side I began to doodle again. It brings me peace. I've been thinking of re-visiting my old art teacher so she'll know I am in the process of getting my life back together. One problem. Her son bullied me.
Thing about acting thick is that people will never call you thick if they think you actually are thick. They will be nice to you. Avoid any intense looks. Intense looks terrify people. Looking intense and calm, and deep eye contact and old soul stuff is the exact opposite of what you want, it's the opposite of camouflage, the opposite of survival.
you do NOT want to be arresting and interesting and intense and weird and deep and ...
eugh. You want to be superficial, and vapid, and relaxed, and calming. All those insecure guys want to feel safe around you, not challenged. They want to feel superior to you, not inferior. Learn the sophisticated art of making people like you; and forget about liking them.
Liking them is for your free time. You're in school. That's worse than any other place in your life. School is the hell you go to to punish you for your sins. Don't expect to enjoy it. You're there to survive it, play it, learn it and win it. Maybe not win it.
Maybe just survive it. But don't try to be real. Save that for your true friends, And talk to the school counsellor, and use whatever services you can get your hands on. Because school is a living hell and all you can hope for is to make it out alive.
For this reason alone, I would suggest you not invest your energy changing yourself, becoming something you are not, just to "make people like you." If you feel you are too intense, by all means, please, work on toning that down. But don't become a vapid, superficial phoney.
Pursue your passions. Do you. To thine own self be true. The greatest advice I ever was given is this "What you see is what you get; if you don't like it, there's the door." Life in too short to be someone you are not just to please others. High school life is wayyyy to short. Another great piece of advice - "it's none of my business what others think of me". Especially if the "others" is the population in general. As you grow you will learn that most people are too busy thinking about themselves to even think about you.
Is is possible you're blowing things out of proportion when you say your stare bothers others? I know that when I was your age it only took one person to say something unkind about me and I believed it must be true, and it must be what everyone thinks. I understand that, I think I'm still that way to a certain extent, very worried about other people's opinions of me. Ugh, I'm 61 yrs old, you'd think I could give some advice!
Intense eyes, my husband has beautiful, intense eyes. I couldn't explain my stare if I tried. Some people in my life have told me I have the kind of eyes that give those "if looks could kill" stare, I swear I don't realize l'm even doing it.
I was a loner in school, but I'd usually have one friend. I look back and am grateful I did. That's why I say I think you need one friend at school to focus on and not worry about the haters.
Keep doodling, I love art, too