I look down at my arms, and hate the scars I see, I look in the mirror and despise what’s looking back at me.
The stomach, the thighs, the face. The ‘resting’ heart beating like Its’ just been in a race.
It’s like a black hole with no light, no exit no door, all we can do is fight, but it’s an endless war?
Our inner demons are fighting, our thoughts awry,
I don’t want to just carry on, I don’t want to try.
It’s not often now people even ask, they’re not satisfied by the standard, ‘I’m fine’.
I’ll always try to support with their problems and worries, but they don’t need the burden of mine.
I have my scars and I don’t like to show, I’m often left thinking, I wonder if they know?
What if they see me? What if I break? What if I can’t pretend and there’s no more I can take?
A sleepless night, a bad day, a thankless task. I don’t really need to show myself, I’ll just put on my mask.
(TW) I've been battling with this for over a week now. A friend here on DS told me I should say this in group. When I was 9 my dad started being sexually abusive and he would also let his friends rape for money. Sometimes it was more than 1 at a time. In between, he kept me locked up. I got pregnant by one of them and I had a son when I was 10, premature, barely able to breathe poor little guy...
I'm really relieved. Seroquel for my PTSD nightmares sedated me and then left me on the edge of needing dialysis because of its permanent damage to my kidneys. Prazosin is liver-processed, not kidney-processed, so it's the only safe PTSD nightmare med out there and it works super for me without sedation nor kidney or other side effects.Retiring as I did to Mexico this month because like most...