Depression Support Group

Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.

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The Coming of the Night

Jormungandr
Jormungandr
Usually, I welcome the night. Everyone's asleep and I can be myself. if I choose to go somewhere late at night, such as the store or a restaurant, I'm usually one of the few, if not the only one, there. The service is better, yes I know they're trying to get a larger tip, as is the food. However, lately, my nights have be filled with fear and anxiety. It's end of another day of failure, depression and disappointment and I know tomorrow will be the same. Yes, i can tell myself it will be different, but I know it won't. I never follow through with goals and such things and if I do attempt them, I fail. I go to sleep wish I don't wake up. If only I could do lucid dreaming. At least I have the hope of finding some pleasure in the time in which I once found some comfort.
StarrySummerSkies
StarrySummerSkies
Sounds like depression is not controlled well. Time to revise medications? I do agree on nights being better service times though.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Something very soothing about a clean, well-lighted place when the night outside is particularly dark and cold.
gramybear
gramybear
You are pulling yourself in two different directions. On the one hand you are telling yourself that things are going to be better tomorrow, but then on the other hand, you are telling it that naw, nothing is going to change. If you keep telling yourself that your depression is never going to be better, then it's never going to be better. Okay, so at least you attempt goals that you have. And what is the worse that can happen if you fail? What you can do is start over until you don't fail.
If you want to have good dreams, I have been told by many doctors that we should always think of positive, happy, and loving thoughts before we go to sleep, and nine times out of ten, our dreams will be happy ones.
I think it's admirable that you like yourself enough to spend time with yourself. A lot of people can't be alone with their own thoughts. It sounds like if you are having trouble now being out and about by yourself, then you possibly might be having some agoraphobia reactions. I think it would be really good to talk to your therapist if you have one, and if not, possibly find one? Are you on any medication? Have you thought about possibly trying something like that.? I hope you are able to get your questions answered. Hugs GB