Hello,

I don't understand what I am going through, but I have never had a surgery impact me so much.  I had to have part of my thyroid removed, it was kind of a big deal, and ever since my emotions have been wildly all over the map.  I am not sure if anesthesia affects people in particular ways, but I feel really, really weird.  I either feel really super friendly and much more open and accepting, or I feel extremely pissed off.  I don't know if it's the pain, or the fact that my body chemistry is really screwed up.  I had hypercalcemia and it was threatening to destroy my heart and kidneys if left alone.  Much of the parathyroid glands were removed to cure this.  I now have hypocalcemia, which has other different and serious impacts.

This even includes some mild hallucinations, as very low calcium can do this. I have to take calcium supplements every few hours otherwise my face and hands go numb, and I become dizzy to the point of passing out.  Talking is extremely stressful and I sleep sometimes like 12 hours per day.  I'm usually a 6 hour person. This sucks. I don't know if this will even out soon, but physical and psychological effects are really getting to me. Shortly after coming home from the hospital, I was seeing orbs and sparkles of light. I thought it was the oxycodone, but read that these hallucinations are from the condition itself. These fortunately have resolved and gone away. 

I have felt extremely agitated at times, and I read this can be part of the condition. I will need to have bloodwork done soon, my post-op appointment is coming up. I started crying a few times today. This really is not like me. I do go through periods of depression but I just don't experience this level of volatilty. I just don't feel like myself.  I also feel a strange sense of depersonaliztion and derealization.  It's so weird. I just feel this overwhelming sense of lightness, almost like my identity has been replaced. I did call the doc and speak with him a bit. He said recovery is relative and that anestesia can really affect people differently sometimes.  I don't know if you can travel out of body when under anesthesia. Maybe I am looking too deep into it. I feel SO WEIRD. I distinctly feel I have undergone a personality change as a result of this. I suppose that is somewhat possible, as my body chemistry has been completely overhauled, and part of who we are as people depends on our genetic and chemical makeup.  So, it could happen to an extent.  I don't want to say I've had a personality transplant, but there is some major shift here.  I'll be speaking to my therapist and will follow up with my psychiatrist also.  I can't wait to recover from this operation!