Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
Hi, my wife has recently been referred by her doctor to a mental health centre to deal with her depression and anxiety. It has been coming for some time, I have noticed a change in her moods / behaviours for a number of months now. She has always had a tendency to have moments of depression and anxiety. We have a daughter who will be 6 this year and she went on Citalopram not long after she was born so that her moods and behaviours became more stable. She came off the medication in late 2015 and I was hopeful that we could turn a corner here. But it was not to be. She is back on the meds again. We have argued a lot over the past year about trivial issues which most other couples would be able to laugh off. She self-harmed last week (banging her head on the stairs repeatedly) - and I saw this happen - which shocked me. I thought this condition could not get any lower, but it did at that moment. Conversation has become strained between us, infact near impossible. She lacks motivation and interest, and thinks nothing about falling asleep in the front room with the TV on and then that's it. You are lost in your own thoughts. Depression is like an invisible cloak of darkness which wraps itself around in this case our marriage and both of us. You can't see through it at all and have no idea what the future's like once you reach the other side. As her husband, it's like someone has pressed the pause button and we are stuck in limbo. It's difficult to move forward, she is short tempered with our daughter (and me). I am sure we will work things out eventually but it will take time. I have reminded her that I love her and all of those stuff but you don't get anything back with this condition. Becuase when you are supporting someone with depression, you over-compensate for everything you do and have to do more. Which is tiring. There's no cuddles or romance, the intimate moments are so few ansd far between. Her depression is worse at the weekend, when she does not have to adhere to the rules and expectations of work. So what should be our quality time is spent battling with her moods and behaviours and also coping as a family. I am not good at sharing my feelings and opening up (it's a man thing I guess), so have not told many people about what I'm going through. It's my first time on a on-line support group. It's a case of taking things one step at a time I suppose. This post is a step forward in trying to express my feelings more about this debilitating condition.
Is there a chance she can go on a holiday for a month or 2? I had 3 months off one winter. The first month I didn't get out of my chair. The 2nd month I started to come right and by the end of the 3rd month I was bored. Life can feel like drudgery. Year after year after year. Good holidays can help.
As hard as it is be supportive. Go with her to therapy if she will allow it. Be alert and protective of your daughter. There has to be boundaries. It's not ok for her to yell at her for no reason or blow things out of proportion. You don't want your daughter to grow up with issues. You are in tricky waters. Very difficult. You may benefit from a visit with a therapist. Lots of support and hugs.
I don't know if this will give you hope, but speaking from the perspective as a wife myself, who has struggled with postpartum depression for the past three years (I had two babies within two years), I am proof that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. I've had similar symptoms of your wife and my poor husband went through my mood swings, suicidal ideation, and more. The best thing he did for me was not give up on me, like you are there for your wife. With the right psychiatric help, correct medication, therapy, and familial support, I PROMISE there is hope!
Here for you...