I think the risk of suicide, like most things, is dependent on many genetic factors, a main one being depression. So, whilst it is not hereditary in and of itself, the liklihood can be greatly increased based on genetics. Someone earlier mentioned alcoholism, which works in a similar way - you can inherit risk factors for alcoholism, but whether or not they get played out depends on many environmental factors such as trauma or grief that one might experience.

I'm incredibly saddened to see so much judgment on a site that is designed to provide support for one another. For those contemplating suicide, it is very rarely a matter of wanting to die, but a case of no longer wanting to live, and feeling they have no other option. When I told one of my friends of my thoughts of suicide, she came back very quickly accusing me of being selfish whilst giving no constructive advice or support. I can't speak for anyone else's thought processes, but those I love have always been at the forefront of my mind at the times I've been closest to attempting suicide. I know it would hurt them greatly, but when I get that depressed, my feelings of self-worth are so low it's impossible to believe that anyone could truly like me and through some very distorted thought process, I'm able to convince myself that those I would leave behind would be much better off without me. It's also somewhat of a self-compounding cycle as the thoughts of hurting loved ones adds to the sense of guilt and shame, which then increases the depression.
I haven't felt this way in a while, and for that I am incredibly grateful, but it has heightened my sense of awareness and understanding of some of the thought processes that lead people to feel that suicide is the only option.
All I can say is that despite what it may feel like in your darkest times, there is always another option, and always someone who cares deeply. Thinking of suicide as 'wrong' or 'sinful' or 'selfish' is no help to those trying to grapple with these feelings and trying to overcome them. There's no right or wrong, and no selfishness, just a huge amount of pain and uncontrolled emotion. It's not a bad thing to consider suicide, it's a symptom of how hopeless things feel at one moment in time. There's a saying that's been quoted to me many times 'suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem' - just think, if you give life another chance, there are a myriad of possible experiences and friendships that you would otherwise miss out on.
I'll end with a plea for comments to be constructive, supportive and non-judgmental rather than a battle of beliefs of right or wrong. Telling someone they're wrong for feeling a certain way isn't going to suddenly change their emotions, just make them more ashamed, which they have no reason to be.
lonely1, I hope you find a way to work through the pain that's causing these thoughts. You have a lot to offer the world and your happiness *is* worth it. Hang in there. -H

I'm also not sure if suicide is hereditary but it does come with depression, which is hereditary. Please get some help, spititual or otherwise, or visit a support group. You will come out of it! I'm sending good wishes your way.

I concur that suicide is in itself not hereditary, but depression, which is often the cause, is. But there are other factors and reasons why people commit suicide. Sometimes, ironically, antidepressants can cause someone in a very deep depression who doesn't have the energy (or the thought power to think of it or details) to feel "better" and follow through. Also, it is some people's (understandable) way out of a painful, drawn out death from a terminal illness. Or it can be (rarely) a side effect from other drugs. Always check your info with perscriptions, and be sure all your dr.s know if you are depressed and that your family has this history. This is also a medical issue.
I think it is cruel to simply expect someone to stop thinking about suicide. But it is good to explore why you are having those thoughts, and do what you can to stop them from coming to mind. I do not think many people purposefully sit down and plot out their plan to kill themselves like making a grocery list. At least, in this culture. It most often happens as a consequence of being depressed, in pain, and feeling hopeless about finding a way out of it. Particularly if you have been depressed for any length of time, and it seems that it really will never end.
One good way I have found to couneract depressive/suicidal thoughts is to make goals and plans for the future, especially and even if you don't feel like it. Like your brain trying to perceive hot and cold temperature at the same time, it is difficult to plan for the future and "the end" at the same time.

While there is a strong selfish element involved in suicide (many people who succeed have this as a key part of their character, which keeps them from considering the effects it will have on others around them.) If it is difficult for you to put yourself in someone else's shoes, developing this ability will not only strengthen your character and maturity, it could help save your life if you are prone to selfishness.
Another big factor in suicide, is denial. Often the denial of how bad other problems in life are (ie: drinking, drugs, finances, relationships,) are linked to the denial of how depressed and therefore, how vulnerable to suicide, you are.
(A funny thing just happened - I got a message from yahoo from someone I never met before, and they thought I was "narcisistic" for telling them I was busy writing this, and could we chat later. I asked if they thought I was being selfish, and they said "yes." we both said goodbye. You see, perceptions are all relative.)
Talking with someone when you are feeling suicidal is one good idea, but there are also other options. Free writing can help -writing whatever comes to mind in a journal or on a piece of paper. Also, just going for a walk or a drive to change your environment can suprisingly change an awful mood.
I personally do not believe that God will not allow someone into heaven simply and only for the reason of commitiing suicide. I think He might also be interested in why they did it, and all the other relavent factors, we cannot possibly know the extent of. Like heredity. I think I'll let God take care of the judgement department.
Suicide can be a conscious decision, but not necessarily. As I said before, most people in this culture, at least, do not sit down and puposely plan their demise.But what does happen typically,is they get used to the thoughts, ignore them until they get stronger and stronger, or become overwhelmed by them, and give in to them. That is why it is a good idea to plan ahead of time where your limit of tolerations is, and when you will take yourself to an ER or call a hotline (having the number handy). For me, since I have had these thoughts off and on now for 30-something years, my limit is if/when the thoughts become detailed, as in how, when, where, and they do not go away.
Some people who think they have control over their suicidal thoughts, and do, suddenly get broadsided by an unexpected stressful event (like your girlfriend telling you she's pregnant or the person you work for insisting you do more and more, only two weeks after your own son committed suicide) and that is enough to cause you to emotionally detach even further, and before you know it, you're going through the motions, and you suddenly discover you don't have control over it any more. (kind of sounds like I've been there, done that, doesn't it??)
My opinion is, by the time someone is so low they are in the action phase of their suicidal tendancies, they do not have much conscious control over it left.
One more piece of advice - this works for life in general, and applies to suicidal thoughts as well - if you need to do this, you can learn to train yourself to "put off gratification" For instance, when that new car you are looking at seems to be the right thing to buy - but you should give yourself at least a day to think it over. If you can find moments like these to pracice this, then if/when you find yourself in a suicidal crisis, you are much more likely to be able to do the same thing. To give yourself permission to do it later when you are thinking more clearly, and chances are very good you will not do it at all.
This has been one of the most thought provoking topics I have read so far, and I have read a lot of them. I am glad to hear everyone's opinions about this, and it is much good food for thought. Thanks. Eve.

I'm not sure if I think it's hereditary or not. I guess I would probaly say no, that is a cop out to try what someone else has. I don't mean this in a bad way since I have tried suicide several times, but thank the good Lord, there is a reason that I am here.If you are thinking of suicide by all means "GET HELP" from somewhere. You have a purpose n this world!

I've read the replies, andI have to concure with the later ones verses the first ones.

For me depression is and goes hand in hand with the suicidial tendences. It's like a long dark path and one forgets how to be happy or how we got out of it the last time. I've spent several years using alcohol as my stablizer, although we all know it only makes it worse. I have found that when I'm drinking and when I'm sober there are certain things that just don't change. The issue is still there, but I can't explain why when I have enough common sense to say its not the right thing to due if you will. I can rationalize the reasons for it as well as the reasons not to do it.
The feeling like you are all alone in the world [which we know we are not] still falls to the forefront. For me I think that my kids and spouse would be better off without me because then they wouldn't have to put up with my issue. I then try to remember that its their issue too, because it has an affect on them as well. The effect would be that I would be gone from their life and though I may not feel I have much to offer anyone any more, they think I do and try to tell me this, although I often don't listen or want to listen and prefer to stay in the self wallowing mode as I put it.
Someone once told me to be honset and write out the good things I see in myself and say :"I love myself and I am beautful" in the mirror every day. For 3 years now I have been unwilling to do this as well as other things that would probably improve my mood. I have recently given up on the drinking, although I would dearly love to go into la la land with the buzz, but the buzz only makes it worse for everyone around me and then the guilt and shame of my actions comes to the fore front again.

Hereditary - depression is, and that brings suicide to the front. So I would have to say it is genetic for almost every family member I know suffers from depression to a certain extent. It's the things in life that have happened that pushes us into deeper bouts of it.

Advice - don't know that I have anything good, other than try to hang on in hopes that it gets better. I'm sure at one point I was happy, but can't remember when or how and now I have to figure out what I did to get out of it so long ago.

On the Road to Happiness
Traveling the rocky road

All I know is this...the one's left behind will ALWWAYS be left with a broken-heart and a WHY? Don't do it....keep going for treatment, talk to people, whatever it is you need to do but don't, I repeat don't do it.Hugs

I also thought of suicide as well. Then I thought about all of those that would be affected. It would tear my mom apart. Everytime I think about taking my life, I see her face. Not to mention all of the other people that love me. Think about it this way. Your pain would end but it would only be the begining for those that love and care about you.

I've been there many times, every time but once did I ask for help. That time I almost succeeded. The phrase "this too shall pass" has been true in my life. Even the good feelings pass. I've also heard that you cannot have a positive thought and a negative thought at the same time. When you are not feeling so bad take time to write down some positive and happy times you have had, keep them handy and when feeling suicidal or even better, before it gets to that point, read them, call someone positive and talk about those things. Anouther thing I use is helping someone else, this puts my attention on something else, and gets me out of my head. Actually that is what I'm doing right now, I feel real crapy and want to stay in bed all day. If I make plans to do something, I say well after I do this then if I still feel like killing myself I will, usually it does pass. For me it has worked, I don't know if it will always work but it's worth trying. Hereditary? I don't think so, I think it's a lack of options that people succeed. I hope I have helped someone today, I know you helped me!!!

I agree with summerbreeze, one will not go to hell for taking their life. When a person is in that state of mind, thta is the only way they see to get away from tremendous pain. My sociology professer explained this to me. I agreee there are some out there who do it for attention and it goes to far, but some are crying out for attention and is not taken seriously. When one is in suha loow state of mind they see that ,as well no one really cares , i have nothing to live for.If one is seriously in a suicide mode they see noting else andit is not selfishness , it is fact. I know how much it hurts the surviving relatives, but desperation does not rationalize. God bless

Thru the last 7 yrs, I to have thought of suiside. My family does not understand & think it's all in my head I take too many pills, like I have chisen this lifesyle. I have gone as far as write letters to my family members trying to describe the pain & lonliness. My Mother said she would understand. My daughter said she would never forgive me, my husband says nothing like usual. I have 2 very loving cats, I do worry who would take care of them. My entire back yard is a garden of flowers I created by myself on hands & knees. When I was able to go play in the dirt it did me the most good. I could forget everything & everybody.The weather has been cold & damp,can't get out there now.
Everybody has to deal with these issues on there own.
Diana1

Your father's side more in likely have bipolar and if your having the same thoughts you probably are too. GET HELP! Don't wait like I did. Suicide isn't never a option. Believe me I know First hand. Even though it feels that bad, Think its really not nothing is worth that.

i don't believe suicide is a genetic behavior. my training suggest an individuals chemical embalance,inviorment,or other character.
medication along with a committment to therapy ca go a long way to a better life fulfilment...................

Suicide.....
The answer is NO! It becomes a family "trait" if you will, ONLY when we begin to believe that it might be hereditary. If we belive it, it will become so.
There are some studies in genetics that say people inherit a kind of "suicide gene" but as I said......Even though you may be predisposed to these kinds of thoughts, once you realize this, you can deflect these thoughts. Stay focused on your many interests and studies and you should continue to feel better.
Best of luck lonely1 and know that although you may feel "lonely" you are definatly NOT alone!
SS911.

HI I CAN TRY TO HELP YOU I HAD LOST MY FIRST HUSBAND TO SUICIDE ABOUT 7 YEARS AGO AND I WILL TELL YOU WHAT IT HAS BEEN HELL ON ME AND MY CHILDREN SO IF THERE IS ANYONE THAT YOU CAN TALK TO INSTEAD OF TAKING YOUR LIFE NOBODY OR NOTHING IS WORTH KILLING YOUR SELF OVER JUST REIMEBER THERE IS ALWAYS SOMONE OUT THERE THAT CARES ABOUT YOU WELL HOPE THAT ALL IS WELL WITH YOU.

I do not believe that suicide is hereditary, but I do believe that we can become products of what our brains have heard and recorded. I'm painfully learning to re-program my way of thinking. One positive thought is 90 times more powerful than a negative thought. When we are depressed, our brain waves are distorted as is our thinking and we all have over 20,000 thoughts daily, so just imagine how confused our brains become during this time. It is up to each of us to tell our brain what we want. Have you ever heard that we are what we think. Slowly but surely, I am making headway. Tell yourself over and over that you are loved, that you are valuable and that you will succeed. It is not easy, but like anything else, it has to be learned. A baby learns to walk and a depressed person learns that they have choices.