well first of all Good I am glad you are not going to kill yourself! I too have had thoughts of harming myself, but then I think of how much I love my dogs and I cant bare to leave them, I know thats kind of a wierd reason to not kill myself, but to me I love them that much and am glad I have them to keep me thinking clearly, do you have anything like that?

I have Bipolar and I had suicidal thoughts before I got the right meds. I don't know if you can cancel that unless you have been dx'd not having it. I would consult another Dr.

The best advice I can give you is to talk to your family. Maybe you can continue to stay with them while attending school. Sometimes having those that care and having people around in general can keep our minds on other matters. I would not suggest that you return to the dorm feeling this way.

I also have ocd and have been in your shoes. I didn't so much want to kill myself as just make the compulsions end. What are your compulsions? Mine are checking for leaks - yes, I have major issues with water.

I'm also glad your only having suicidal thoughts and not actually planning anything. Like AlwaysSad said have you got anything that you wouldn't want to leave behind that you can use as a reason for staying? AlwaysSad had his dogs and I had my cats and they worked wonders, didn't want to leave them, therefore the thoughts stayed as thoughts for most of the time.
I expect many of us have been there and done that and come through it, so let us be here to help you thorugh it.

may I ask why your worrying about going back to school right now? Can it help at all? Isn't it just adding to your stress? Maybe you should take some time off, get well, and then worry about school.

Yes I have tried to kill myself.Failed at that too.But am over it.Msg me if you ever feel like it(if it helps to talk)you are not alone xx

Oh girl I feel like I am talking to myself. I have also had these thoughts, they would creep into my mind without warning and just sit there. I would think about ways to die,what it might feel like, if it would hurt? I would imagine my funeral and what might be said. I still feel this way on occasion and it scares me too. I was just driving last week and saw a semi coming the opposite way and had the biggest urge to just swerve in front of him. The next day I went to the hospital it scared me so bad! Go to a hospital if you have to, you can't help these thoughts it's a disease, if you were having a heart attack that would threaten your life and you would go to the hospital, this is no different. Your thoughts can threaten your life too and are usually not based on the reality of the situation, depression makes us feel like everything is hopeless but that doesn't mean it is.

Sja, I have obsessions about everything from floods, fire, death, to being rejected. I constanlty have to check the faucets, lights, oven, stove, etc to make sure nothing bad will happen.

Granitegirl, the reason why I worrying about going back to school is that my parents say that i should go back in a week or two. I really feel like I am putting a burden on them by staying home when I should be normal and be living in a dorm like most college age kids.

Im sadley getting the suicide thoughts, Easy way out i suppose than dealing with these problems. Im not one to follow my thoughts, i wouldnt have the guts to do a thing like that, be a easy way out tho. I just think of my family and friends and what effect i would have on them, this stops me doing anything. I have had suicide thoughts on off for 4 years, Im still here not done anything!!!! If you want to chat i am a good listener as well as a chatter :)

I've never not had suicidal thoughts. I think about everything from the pain to how I would do it to how people would react and who would go to my funeral. What keeps me here is thinking about all of the things that I would leave undone if I were to go through with it. I'm just not ready to go yet.

Regarding the OCD stuff:
In 2001 I read " Brain Lock" by Jeffrey Schwartz, M.D. and implemented "The four R's" : Relabel, Reattribute, Refocus, Revalue".

That got rid of my irrational obsessions. So now I'm just a germophobe (for rational reasons!) who opens public doors with my dirty (left) hand and grabs public restroom door handles with a paper towel!

With the 4 Rs from the book you literally "re-wire" your brain to work correctly.

*Recognize & Relabel: Recognize that you are obsessing over a certain thought over and over and recognize it to be (relabel it) as an OCD thought thought.

*Reattribute: OCD is responsible for the thought- OCD is a miswiring of the brain- it is not your fault. Don't blame yourself for having these irrational thoughts, like they are your fault or something.
It does not come from you but is created by the OCD. "It's not me, it's my OCD"! Reattribute the thought to coming from your OCD.

*Refocus: Concentrate on a different behavior- go do something different for at least 15 minutes!

*Revalue(devalue): After distracting yourself from the thought by doing something else for 15 minutes and the obsession has gone away, notice that deciding to not give in the the OCD thought had no bad consequences- only good.

Each time you use the 4 Rs on an OCD thought you will get better and better. Even if you don't complete all 4 steps- even if you only complete one or two steps and then fail- it is okay because just RECOGNIZING the thought as an OCD thought objectifies OCD and makes you aware of what is going on. It is like taking a break(even if just for a second or minute) from being a slave to OCD and recognizing OCD for what it is- A chemical issue in the brain that CAN be changed by using the 4 Rs. It is like observing yourself from outside.

I don't know the right thing to tell someone considering suicide, but I can tell you that, from this point in time, your life will only get better. I promise.

Taking a break from school is not a bad thing. Especially if you need it. You know, everyone gets overwhelmed and burned out. Everyone.

I was really nervous about telling my psychologist about my suicidal thoughts because I was afraid she'd have me involuntarily admitted. I too, have no plans, but people who've never been through this start getting nervous when you talk about suicide. I did tell my psychologist and my psychiatrist about my suicidal thoughts and they've not admitted me. They're really careful to ask me this question at every appointment though.

I told my counsler that i was having sucide thoughts & hearing voices and they put me in a psychiatric hospital for 14 days. They put me on cymbalta 60mg. i have to go to a mental health clinic every month for my lifetime.