Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
It's been a while since I've been on. A lot has happened since then. I've been some what struggling in school. I don't have the grades my mom expects of me. The lowest grade I have is a 65%. Almost my entire music preferences have changed. I went from preferring to listen to happy songs to listening to bands like (or listening to more songs by) Secondhand Serenade, Mayday Parade, My Chemical Romance, Pierce the Veil, Counterfeit, and The Darling Buds, and I even downloaded a whole bunch of sad songs about death and hating yourself. And the few times that I write songs, they end up depressing and dad. I was finally officially diagnosed with depression thanks to the new system where children 12 and over get a depression screening. And I final admitted to my mom that I have had suicidal thoughts. But the worst thing that happened, which is why I'm talking about it right now, is that I cut myself last night. 25 cuts on each forearm, and 25 on each of my upper arms. 100 cuts total. It's been a while since I last cut. After I did it the last time, that was the closest I got to almost committing suicide. The only thing that stood in my way the last time was the fact that my parents and sister were home. My plan was to take a whole bunch of pills, and then to make sure I was dead, I would drown myself in my pond. But this time, my parents are going to be at work, and my sister at her job or her boyfriends house.
'Everyday is like Sunday, every day is silent and grey'
Morrissey (British singer). Awesome stuff! You sound like you're in a really bad way. You need to get help immediately, even if it means a stay away from school. I think there are crisis numbers here if you need to use them but since you've already been diagnosed etc. then maybe you've got your own mental health practioners/ organization that you can contact. If you really want to commit suicide, it's true that nobody can stop you - only you can stop you. You're still young and you've got your wholelife ahead of you. You cannot even imagine the type of person you will become in the future. I felt suicidal once - but I did really badly in an exam, like a C would have been an A+ bad. Now, I look back on that and I wonder how I could have let myself feel that way. The girl who cut herself, and who wanted to die told me that she had changed - she now wants to live. It was good to hear that.