So it's been awhile since I've posted.  I've been really busy at work, and really struggling with the depression.  At times I have come to the point where I'm suicidal, but it usually passes as soon as it comes, cause I have family that needs me.  But my job has become completely overwhelming,  I'm trying to find something less stressful that still pays the bills,  and the search and wait is agonizing.  My religion suggests that I should focus more on wishing for happiness for others, instead of agonizing over getting my own wishes met, and this is wonderful advice and sounds great, but I'm here to tell you it is MUCH easier said that done.  I'm trying, I'm trying to wish for the happiness of others, and still trying to pursue a better situation, but I feel very much down to the wires, and they are quickly burning out.  So I'm here for support and good wishes of others that may help bring me some luck in my job search, and my good wishes for others.