Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
Hello again (and thank you all who reply and who have replied in the past). And sorry for it being half a book, once I started I couldnt stop.
I am stressing/freaking out over a lot of different things and it feels like I am at the edge of a line/cliff before I freak/spazz out/loose it (no hurting myself/anyone) just a breakdown of sorts.
I have many things like normal people (money, annoying wife, stressfully job, kids that constantly want me (which that can be nice but dad 400 times a day after work (and that is literal) can become stressful), all of these I have been able to handle in the past and I am now (doesnt help though) and the big thing that is doing this may sound stupid to some/all but it is a website I am working on.
Some background to help set my freaking out mood. I have had MANY ideas/plans/thoughts and start on tons of things but never follow through, finish them, or usually even get to a point where it is ready to finalize/finish. This is an issue in itself I know.
I am a web developer/programmer by trade and I have had tons of ideas for websites/etc., but most have been done already or before. I finally found an idea that I could not find anything similar online for (or if I did they were BAD websites).
The part that is the last straw that is freaking me out/pushing me over the edge is that I want to do SOO much for it and all at once, but I also want it to be great, good, perfect (I know it won't be perfect), but good at least. I have progressed farther than I ever have before with this (compared to other ideas). I have a working website, it has content, and it is out there/live right now. I have not started publishing/making it known yet because I am still working on some things (layout, some content, getting better photos (that I am taking)). Once I finish a few more things (mainly better photos, bought some more equipment to help that for lighting) and once I am done with that I will post the link on some sites, try to get users, etc.
The part of it that is freaking me out (which I am sure would everyone) (aside from wanting to do so much all at once) is the thought of it not working, failure, people saying bad stuff about it (I can take criticism but too much obviously would not be good).
The reason it is freaking me out so much is because I have never gotten this far on any idea/project I have done before like this. I have had ideas but I either just stopped, or talked myself out of them. All I can think about at work is this website (and I have access to do stuff for it too) so I keep doing stuff for it and slacking on my job. Not noticeable yet by management but sooner or later will.
Other thing is issues with Wify on many levels (and for many other things and that is an entirely different topic): For this though she doesnt car (and told me) even though I asked for her opinion and said ignore the content what about the website. I can never seem to get time to do anything for my website at home (she can't seem to watch the kids because they always want me), or she is gone with 1 kid while I have the other).
This is the first thing in a LONG time that has me excited and the only thing I have done (hobby/etc. wise in years as well) but also super scared for the reasons (it fails/etc.) and also if I dont follow through or it doesnt work or whatever, my idea not only failed, the thing I was excited about (finally) fell through and I am even more disappointed. Finally what happens the next time I have an idea, I have super issues doing stuff like this as it is, let alone trying to do it again.
Finally (I know I said that a lot) but it is a LOT of work, I realize that, but sometimes feels like too much (which if I do it right it shouldnt be more than a couple hours a week).
I think maybe if I can get it to where I want/need it to be and get links out there and have people using it (my main fear no one will use it) then I will not be as freaked/stressed out but I have to get it there first.
So any help on what/how to handle/deal with this (my issues not necessarily the website, lol) would be appreciated. Anyone have similar issues (can't/doesnt do/follow through with anything), finally did and getting freaked out on verge of doing it?
People on here have helped just by supporting me before so I hope you can do so again.
I am stressing/freaking out over a lot of different things and it feels like I am at the edge of a line/cliff before I freak/spazz out/loose it (no hurting myself/anyone) just a breakdown of sorts.
I have many things like normal people (money, annoying wife, stressfully job, kids that constantly want me (which that can be nice but dad 400 times a day after work (and that is literal) can become stressful), all of these I have been able to handle in the past and I am now (doesnt help though) and the big thing that is doing this may sound stupid to some/all but it is a website I am working on.
Some background to help set my freaking out mood. I have had MANY ideas/plans/thoughts and start on tons of things but never follow through, finish them, or usually even get to a point where it is ready to finalize/finish. This is an issue in itself I know.
I am a web developer/programmer by trade and I have had tons of ideas for websites/etc., but most have been done already or before. I finally found an idea that I could not find anything similar online for (or if I did they were BAD websites).
The part that is the last straw that is freaking me out/pushing me over the edge is that I want to do SOO much for it and all at once, but I also want it to be great, good, perfect (I know it won't be perfect), but good at least. I have progressed farther than I ever have before with this (compared to other ideas). I have a working website, it has content, and it is out there/live right now. I have not started publishing/making it known yet because I am still working on some things (layout, some content, getting better photos (that I am taking)). Once I finish a few more things (mainly better photos, bought some more equipment to help that for lighting) and once I am done with that I will post the link on some sites, try to get users, etc.
The part of it that is freaking me out (which I am sure would everyone) (aside from wanting to do so much all at once) is the thought of it not working, failure, people saying bad stuff about it (I can take criticism but too much obviously would not be good).
The reason it is freaking me out so much is because I have never gotten this far on any idea/project I have done before like this. I have had ideas but I either just stopped, or talked myself out of them. All I can think about at work is this website (and I have access to do stuff for it too) so I keep doing stuff for it and slacking on my job. Not noticeable yet by management but sooner or later will.
Other thing is issues with Wify on many levels (and for many other things and that is an entirely different topic): For this though she doesnt car (and told me) even though I asked for her opinion and said ignore the content what about the website. I can never seem to get time to do anything for my website at home (she can't seem to watch the kids because they always want me), or she is gone with 1 kid while I have the other).
This is the first thing in a LONG time that has me excited and the only thing I have done (hobby/etc. wise in years as well) but also super scared for the reasons (it fails/etc.) and also if I dont follow through or it doesnt work or whatever, my idea not only failed, the thing I was excited about (finally) fell through and I am even more disappointed. Finally what happens the next time I have an idea, I have super issues doing stuff like this as it is, let alone trying to do it again.
Finally (I know I said that a lot) but it is a LOT of work, I realize that, but sometimes feels like too much (which if I do it right it shouldnt be more than a couple hours a week).
I think maybe if I can get it to where I want/need it to be and get links out there and have people using it (my main fear no one will use it) then I will not be as freaked/stressed out but I have to get it there first.
So any help on what/how to handle/deal with this (my issues not necessarily the website, lol) would be appreciated. Anyone have similar issues (can't/doesnt do/follow through with anything), finally did and getting freaked out on verge of doing it?
People on here have helped just by supporting me before so I hope you can do so again.
Wow. I can feel your thoughts racing so quickly. I can feel the elevation of a sort of "panic" in reading your words.
If you were my daughter, for instance, I would put aside everything, your issues with your wife, your children, your job and your new website, and just ask you to breath deeply and slowly and to focus your energy on YOU.
First, It's great that you are following through on a project that you have a passion for as well as a clear vision.
That is wonderful.
I know that I can't help you too much with my response, but if you were my daughter I would suggest you try to manage your thoughts, instead of letting them overwhelm you.
So, when you feel yourself starting to "freak out" or derail, reign your self back in.
Focus on the here and now. Mindfulness.
My friend and I coined a term. When we are overwhelmed, we "real ourselves back in" . I spelled "real' that way intentionally.
I now visualize myself "realing myself back in" from overwhelming thoughts. I bring myself back to my reality, and practice mindfulness.
It settles my heart rate, it steadies my breathing and calms my nerves.
Then, I just put one task in front of me at a time. Trust me, I am incredibly overwhelmed right now, but this is actually working for me.
I am also sort of gathering all of my anger, and using it as a sort of steam to give me momentum to accomplish what I need to accomplish.
These ideas work for me, and I would also suggest them to my daughter if she were to feel overwhelmed.
(((((((HUGS)))))
She dealt with it/let me yesterday but I was getting stressed/freaked out because what I was trying to do with camera didnt/wouldnt work.
Just not sure how to calm myself down about this particular issue and not freak out/stress myself out.
thank you for all your thoughts and ideas (and they are very good ones) and I think what you are asking me to do is the opposite of my general nature and is one of my root problems around depressions/anxiety in general. So doing what you suggest makes it very difficult (even though a great idea).
My mind races all the time, at night/bed time, during the day/etc. Usually I can distract myself with stuff and work on things, but this time the main thing I am working on/trying to do IS the thing causing the racing thoughts issues to begin with so that makes it even harder.
So, your thoughts are racing so quickly that it is interfering with your daily life and your sleep schedule?
(I am purposely not discussing your fantastic project, because I think the first priority is to discuss your racing thoughts)
If a sense of "manic behavior/thoughts" are interfering with your daily routine, I think it is time to be evaluated by a proper therapist/psychologist or psychiatrist.
Medication can help treat racing thoughts. You could potentially have ADHD or Bipolar disorder for instance......
The dosage or 'as needed' indications might need to be altered to help your thoughts stop racing, so that you can focus on your fantastic project...
I have been on them (various ones to try them out) for YEARS. and not just a couple months at a time, for a year or more at a time for each one (with the exception of only a couple due to side effects).
These have some side effects that effect the marrrage, no sex drive, everything works fine, just never want to do anything.
Trying to find alternatives, and someone posted SAM-e and have been trying that.
The other issue/downside is that when I get this bad (as described above) none of the medicine works or takes way to long to make any effect, so I have a couple beers, and that works. That I know is temporary and doesnt help long run (and maybe even hurts), but it is hard not to when it produces pretty quick responces.
I just really need to find the root cause of my issues and I have tried many doctors, psycologists, and even psychyrotrits, and for not a short period of time. I would start/be going now but insurance covers only a small portion and I dont have the money, but if I knew (or had a very high chance) it would help I would pay just about anything at this point.
Any help, suggestions would be appreciated
Also whats another good place to get advice/help on this site other then the forums?