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Strain in the relationship with my daughter

whatswrong19
whatswrong19

My daughter and I had gotten very close over the past 6 weeks. She's 19and in college.  She's home for the summer. But all her life she has always put me in stressful situations by waiting till the last minute to do things that had to be done, or waiting till the day of to tell me she was in a play or concert.  Well my insurance was asking for records of her physical. I told her 2months ago and have been reminding her.  She said it was taken care of.  Well the last day was Friday.  Without them I have to pay 1500 back to insurance.  So I got mad at her.  I did not get verbally mean, in fact I didn't say much, but she knew I was mad and it was upsetting for her. I got over it, but now she's distant and it is killing me 

Minidogs2
Minidogs2
Sounds like part of being a mom. The good part is that if you have been very close, she knows that you love her. Her being more responsible is another matter. Talking with her about being more responsible will help her relationship with you and other people in the real world. You might want to ask her how she would feel if she had to pay $1500 just because you didn't turn in a form for her? You might want to require her to pay back at least some of that money so she really gets it. Even though it may be difficult, you can always approach her and tell her that you love her and that you need to talk instead of staying in silence. Good luck!
Community LeaderThePepperMan
ThePepperMan
Sounds like she needs to learn about natural consequences. We did that with our daughter. We had trouble getting her to get to school on time. She just would not get going. So one day (when she was in high school) I had enough. I took our son to school (they were going to the same school at that time) and returned to take her to school. She was late, I refused to write a note, and she got detention. .......... But she learned.
bridgie101
bridgie101
I have problems like this. I micromanage it till it's done. Take the child to the place... It's painful, I have to take time off work... but it actually happens. Trying to get a teenager to get any tiny chore done in life is like herding cats. No. Like herding water. It's just not going to happen. I think we underestimate the level of freeze/panic/denial kids live in. I think they live with far worse anxiety than we do. And they go straight into denial about anything they can't cope with. My son hates going to the doctor. Actually so does my daughter. On a more cheerful note? A workmate was telling me about her son today. He went away on camp. He came back ONE WEEK LATER and the soap she sent him away with was still in the packet. Yay children.
Minidogs2
Minidogs2
That is funny about the kid coming home a week later with the soap not used. Thanks for the humor.
muskrattiger
muskrattiger
that apology was for you I thought I messed up your post ..........lol............my son alwayes wanted to have sleep overs at diferant friends houses and we would say know because we dident know the people we told him he could have them come here ...but that wasent good enough ...he got realy mad ..and tod us..when he had kids he would never do that to them ....so when he did have kids ...and they wanted to go and have sleepovers at people's houses he dident know ....he called me up and said ...I opened my mouth and you fell out ..and he apoligised ..for all he put us through ..................