hey sweety, i understand about suicide, and it being the only way out, cause it would be so much more easier, but think about ur kids, what about all the hurt and pain u wd leave behind..... hang around here, im here to listen if u want, it does help, there are so many ppl here who care

yup ya just think about the ones youd leave behind...that makes a huge step in the stop direction.

I was a cutter for a long time and something that helped me when I tried suicide what the "rubber band trick". Put a rubber band on your wrist and wear it all the time (when you can) and anytime you get depressed or upset and start to think of suicide pull the rubber band back and pop your wrist with it. That is what kept me in check because it didn't hurt as bad as cutting but it hurt enough to bring me back to reality. Sometimes I had to pop it more than once but after a while I didn't have to wear it anymore. I haven't had a thought of suicide in 3 years.

It was a warm June morning while I was driving down a highway. It was a trucker road and knew that if I did it here that there was another load of cars not far behind me that would find me instead of the kids finding me. That was my only concern. I did not want the kids to see me that way. I was going through a hard time with them. My then 10 year old wished that God had taken me and not his Grandma( which he never knew as she died before he was concieved). So as I drove into the upcoming traffic I thought only of him and making him the happiest kid alive. Then For a slpit second I was there in front a semi with the his head lights shinning on my eyes. I am sure that he wasn't sure what the hell I was doing. But before it was to late I pulled back into my lane. Till this day I am unsure why I pulled back I am sure I wasn't alone in the car. I went into a hospital 2 days later when I was wandering around my small community not sure where I was and where I belonged. The kids wentto stay with their dads and I spent a week in the mental hospital. No one saw it coming. Not even my partner. He even asked me "why didn't you come and talk to me". I just said that I couldn't talk about it at all. He never came up to the hospital to see me. I think I hold that against him till this day. But we will work on that. But yet still there are days when I drive down that highway and wonder what made me pull back. I know that there had to be an angel beside me. But for a brief moment I didn't feel any pain. And it's like a rut in the road. Whenever time gets tough that is our solution to heal our hearts. It's like using crazy glue to fix everything. But now we have to find another solution to fix our broken hearts. It's tough and only those who have travelled down that road can ever understand how the brain goes right to that thought. I try to sleep it off, it's like a bad hangover. But you will need to talk about it when it comes up as that's the only way to empty your brain of those thoughts and fill it with loving thoughts. *** HUGS***

The suicidal thoughts were my scariest symptom (haven't had them for 3 years now since I've been taking zoloft). What helped me was reminding myself that they were a symptom of my depression and that I was working on getting better. FWIW, because that is a symptom, they should go away with an effective medication and correct dosage. Are you taking anything? How about seeing a therapist?

Try to think of how you would feel if one of your family members committed suicide, and you found them. It will remind you of how precious their life is to you. You mean the same to them.

I have had suicidal thoughts for years. I never was able to stop them from coming up. Of course I am not on any meds so they may work. But for me, I just accept them and they seem to fade. I don't mean I buy into them but I just accept the fact that they do arise. It's like, there they are again, ok. I just don't take them seriously. I don't know if this helps but it has for me.

Now suicide runs in my family, I guess. My father and 4 of his brothers have committed suicide. both me and my brother have tried, him a couple times and me once, seriously. But I survived and never tried again, but the thoughts still arise.

I wish you lots of luck over coming this. Know that it is not ever worth it. Things may be bad, but things always change. Good luck!