Physical wounds definitely heal quicker than emotional ones.

I never heard such a crock of shit as that saying! All through my primary school days my teachers would say that as I stood there sobbing after some kid called me a fat rabbit or a spastic as I couldn't run fast. Now it's my sister with her vile, devestating comments and my mother, who supports her, that hurt me. Being hit with a stick never made me stop eating or suicidal, but then it was usually accidental during some kind of war game.

I went to see a therapsit about this as I hate being hurt so much, and she said I should tell people when they hurt me. So I did, and my sister ran crying to my family, so I was the bad guy again. Hey ho. Sensitivity makes you what you are, which is a great listener with empathy and good advice for others. The way we deal with hurt is, unfortunately, our cross to bear. Your wife is a total cow if she hurts you knowingly. Maybe a carefully worded letter would be better than confronting her as you have time to leave it to rest then go back and read it again to make sure there's no ambiguity or amunition for a retaliation from her.

Loved ones have the power to hurt us beyond that of any bully. :(

So very true, gooch.

Words can be very hurtful when we feel mistreated by our loved ones.Some people have a real talent for making words into weapons.

I know what you mean... words are powerful and can hurt. Hurtful words tear down the spirit, and can be remembered and replayed in our memories. My father use to be verbally abusive to me growing up, but he just labeled it as being " funny". He didn't know how much damage and hurt it did to my self esteem.

Sometimes people just don;t know any better and mabye your wife grew up in a home where this took place.

Try not to take the words to heart if you can.... I know that is hard to do. I'm sorry for the abuse. You are a great friend and person, and everyone on DS would agree to that
hugs and love, mary

I am pretty sure that most of the time people saying the nasty things are trying to hurt you the same as if they swung that stick at you. My sister is often clueless (I think) that some of things she says are very hurtful, other times I know she is saying it to hurt me. She has come up with a few over the years that have really stuck, mostly when we were younger but here I am at 41 still remembering it. "Fat people don't have feelings" I was a teenager. "You didn't actually think he would be with you did you"? That was just recently when I was devastated and feeling completely rejected. 4 years ago I was losing a bit of hair at the front (that time I knew why it was falling out) at my Mom's 80th B'Day part in front of many people she said "Well if you quit dying your hair you wouldn't be going BALD" I have been bleaching my hair blonde for more than 20 years and it has never caused it to fall out. Words can cause a lot of pain. A lot of the pain in my life has been from words. I was bullied in school and at home and it has affected my entire life. My ex was physically abusive but off hand I can't think of any hateful words that he ever said to me, weird I never thought about it until now.

Sticks and stones can break my bones but whips and chains excite me... lol

that is what we now call bullying and it does suck.. I dont think most children and younger adults and some adults realize just how much pain it does cause.......

. You don't have to agree with me, but you do have to respect me."


I wish I had read this last week when I had it out with my sister. I got defensive and just told her to kiss my ass.

Her comments can only hurt you, if you give her permission too.
Think about it.......