Depression Support Group

Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.

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justlivinalittleless
justlivinalittleless

Hello! I am 16 and have been out to friends (and my parents) for a year and a half. My girlfriend just recently turned 20, and yea i know that some of you are probably thinking its bad for the reason of age gap. I went to school with her for a year (she was held back in grade school blah blah) anyway, my parents are very traditional people and cannot/will not accept the fact that i am gay. They REFUSE to let me see, talk to, or be around my girlfriend (i sneak around so they have NO clue im still seeing/speaking with her) I've gotten caught a few times and they threaten to get a resraining order, to change my schools, and many other things. Recently, they told me that they would never support homosexuality and hoped it was simply a phase for me. I don't have a lot of friends and i dont feel comfortable with my mental health. i need help, advice.. 

flynnster1094
flynnster1094
I have a friend who is actually about 2 years younger than you going through almost the exact same thing. She is at the point where her parents have almost "given up" stopping her from seeing her girlfriend. I'm not condoning you sneaking around, but you have to do what you think is best for you. If that is your choice, so be it. Anyway, I'm here for you. Know that there is not a single thing wrong with you. Remember, people fear what they don't understand and fear makes people react irrationally. So it may not be that they don't love you, care for you, etc. It may be that they are afraid for you. I don't know your parents, so I can't say. But I hope and pray that they come around soon and I am here to talk if you need it! <3
loli.popnat
loli.popnat
Hey girly. Being in a relationship that people don’t support really sucks, especially if you’re in a place where any kind of human connection is deeply appreciated. And especially if something as dumb as homophobia is a major reason y’all aren’t able to be together. I’m so sorry that you’re going through this right now. I’m also sorry that I can’t offer more than some scraps of advice. I’d suggest you ‘break up’ with her to your friends and family. You all can continue to date in secret or actually take that label off of it, but most of the trouble is derived from that label. Right now you have to protect not only your physical health, but your mental health. Assuming your parents really are Homophobic (which is a conversation you should probably try and have with them because sometimes there are misunderstandings and our fear causes us to jump to conclusions), it’s unsafe for you mentally to be out to your parents. You are approaching legal adulthood where you won’t be forced to spend all this time around them, so just hold on until then. If you haven’t already, try having a conversation with them about your mental health. It’s uncomfortable but it’s all been welled up inside so once it gets started it’s a pretty easy conversation to continue. Anyways, best of luck to you. If you ever need a friend to vent to or anything at all go ahead and shoot me a message. I’m also 16 so we can cry about high school life together lol.
peterthegreat
peterthegreat
I am 46. My parent still would not let me do things like going out late at night. Well, I am living with them so they know. Parent just cannot understand their children are not happy. And how to help them have a happy life. Keep in contact with your girlfriend. Use text and email so they would not know.
In san francisco they are a big gay communties. Why you do not have much friends? If you do not know how, there are a lot books teaches how to make friends. You can find a mentor. There are free mentoring.
Lazylei64
Lazylei64
Hello,
Try asking your Parents to go to Counseling with you.
Don't give up on yourself and your Parents.
Jillsaundars
Jillsaundars
Well if it's not about the whole dodgy over under sixteen thing and more about being gay...

I don't know.

They might decide it's unacceptable and will never see you again because of it. They may gradually accept it. They may back down if that means not seeing you again.

Why not keep it a secret from them? Gay is becoming more and more acceptable and legally upheld in law with each passing year. Maybe by time you marry and adopt etc and you then have to tell them it will be more ok for them

Maybe they won't be as harsh about it and maybe you have more security and strength to be you regardless of their reactions.

May I suggest just not rubbing their noses in it and not talking about it

You know where you all stand on the issue so why fall out about it if you can just avoid the topic

Why we have to have everyone know everything about us in order to feel honest and accepted I don't know.

I've never found anyone willing to have therapy in order to change so our relationship was better. Maybe if they are going to kill them selves from the distress of this they would. But...
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