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So Incredibly Sad about Wife's Cancer

stlake
stlake

Dear DS,


I'm so incredibly sad about my wife's cancer. She has been fighting kidney cancer for 11 years and she is now in agressive stage 3. She will start a drug tomorrow which the pharmacist says will make her dehabilitated.


I have a doctor and I'm taking meds, but I'm out of my mind with sadness, grief, anxiety and fear. I cry dramatically every day and don't know what I'll do when she is not here. I can't imagine living without her.


I'm writing to try and reduce some of hopelessnesss.


Thanks for listening.

billwfriend
billwfriend
I am so sorry for this situation you face...Cancer does not choose who it goes to and it strikes without us wanting to have it or have anyone else have it....I know you have been strong in living with this 11yrs....sorry things have not gone the desired direction....I would stay close and give her the love she needs...my girlfriends husband died of kidney cancer....she is still grieving but we have a nice relationship today....
Anna1212
Anna1212
I'm so sorry to hear this.
stlake
stlake
My biggest fear is that I won't have someone to love like my wife (married 35 years) and someone won't love me like she does.

I can't imagine not being able to share things with her--our little language. I think I'll just be staggering around like a zombie.

The past two days are the first time that I don't feel like living without her.
Anna1212
Anna1212
Have you looked into in-person support groups in your area? Either regular or maybe a cancer support group? Do you have other family or close friends who you can lean on right now?
GreenEyes727
GreenEyes727
I am sorry too but there is some hope that the new drug will buy her more time or put her in remission. I am not sure if the 700 Club videos are on Facebook Watch or YouTube but they tell stories of miracles. When my Mom passed away, my Dad wanted to stop going to dialysis. But then he got my Mom's ashes and put the urn on the TV. He found comfort in that urn. There is always a reason to go on.
stlake
stlake
Please let me clarify the last sentence in my last post.

I meant to say that my feelings of sorrow are becoming so intense, I don't know how I could live without my wife.

I'm trying to find support groups, but it is hard to find ones where the couple is in their 50's. Most pertain to alzheimer's or couples that are much older. Recommendations would be very welcome.
CutieGirl12
CutieGirl12
NAMI organizations have free support groups for anyone and everything for free please look your local chapter online and give them a call. Each city usually have a place. Hugs don't give up if I can go through my relative passing anyone can get through it.
stlake
stlake
Thank you. I've already started looking into NAMI for on site.

Does anyone know of an online site that is better than DS. Sorry DS.
CutieGirl12
CutieGirl12
I don't think there are better sites they all have the same issues but this one is more caring. Support groups.com is okay but it's fast pace. Check into your local city for therapist and ask them what they recommend for online sites.
Anna1212
Anna1212
The forum on www.agingcare.com could be good. it's supposed to be for people taking care of elderly parents I think but it's basically for anyone who is a caretaker and has a section about cancer. Big group with a lot people with a lot of experience. Maybe you could get some help or good referrals there, also.
stlake
stlake
Anna, Thank you for the suggestion. I really appreciate it and will investigate.

CutieGirl12, Thanks also for the Facebook groups recommendation. With Facebook, though I'm very concerned about my anonymity--especially sharing very personal thoughts. Or were you pointing to this site: supportgroups.com?
CutieGirl12
CutieGirl12
Just giving u another group that u asked about.
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