Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
Not even sure if this us the right group to be in. I have no suicidal thoughts at all. It's me afraid of my husband taking off again.
Allow me to go on. 18 years ago my husband took off leaving the kids and I alone with no money, no food, no nothing except a lot of bills he didn't want to cope with. After 7 days he comes back looking half dead cause he had been staying out in the woods. Well just the first of this week it happened again he left this time he was only gone a day. He had once again left behind his wallet, his phone, his keys. Everything and once again took off on foot. Said he sat in the woods and thought but wasn't planning on coming back this time. So here I was all tore up. He has called the 800 help line but I feel he's just saying and doing things I want to hear. He's 54 years old.
When he was 15 years old his brother was killed by a drunk driver. His mother she really screwed him up in the head after his brother passed. Both of them should of gone for help then but they never did. His mother passed a year ago.
He says he knows he needs help but he won't go get it. Just says he will get on vitamins and they will help.
Since he has come home this time my insides just feel like their shaking. I'm afraid to let him out of my sight. I'm afraid he's going to do this again. I'm afraid he's just telling me what I want to hear. What do I do? I don't sleep good I hear every move he makes. I just don't know what to do no more.
I think someone has to give him the hard word and also a helping hand. He needs time out, time away. he needs to go bush for a month or two alone - but with supplies this time. He needs to grieve.
Someone has to tell him he can either get past this historic stuff or drag it around with him for the rest of his life; he's dragged it around till he's in his fifties. Can he be arsed dragging it through his sixties as well? Or would he like to put it down somewhere, and just start living?
He needs time out. Is it possible for him to stop work for a month or three? Can he go on a sickness benefit? Are you able to cover his expenses for that time? Because going bush, as we call it here, is an old and trusted method of healing. Returning to mother earth for replenishment. Getting away from the world of man.
So anyway I think you need to be proactive, and yet he is the driver of this one and you can't make anything happen. But you sure can try!
As to how you're feeling: you sound like you have anxiety, rather than depression. We all know about depression but often don't know about anxiety disorders. It's like, you're gunshy. And you're waiting for the next bullet. That's anxiety and it gets handled differently by doctors.
You yourself probably could do with a counsellor to help guide you through this and give you ideas about where to go for help with hubby, how to guide him through the process, what medication or similar he might need (if any). Vitamins are a very good start for him, but rest, and grieving are important too. He's crashing and burning.
I'll be contacting someone also to get some help. Cause earlier before I spoke with him on his break I had such a bad panic attack wondering if he was leaving.
Yes......I need to nip this in the bud now. I know it's not going to happen overnight I just know it's pure hell though.
I mean it about the time off work. I really started to make headway on my anxiety when I got 3 months off work. I got it due to carpal tunnel, and the specialist thought I got carpal tunnel due to anxiety and depression, because you push yourself so aggressively to work hard when you have anxiety, that you can lose awareness of damage you're doing. Anyway, 3 months off work waiting for the operation and then waiting for it to heal. First month I didn't even get out of my chair.
Hubby needs a hunk of time in which he's not obligated to get anything done. Where he can just go lie down and die somewhere if he wants to, without the world falling apart around him. When's the last time he had a decent holiday? What about you for that matter?
:) xx
He had really no childhood after 15 years old. His dad had died when he was 7 years old and his Step Dad was no better then his own Mother.
I know it's so sad
You really rocked that reply Bridgie :)
Don't know where the heck you were 20 years ago when my anxiety blossomed into a nightmare, but heck, better now than never :)
I started myself a journal today and I hope that help me where I am and learning to cope.
We'll see
He has long-term mental problems ... his strange behavior .. repetitive, is a sign. He needs professional help ... urgently,... because he is affecting other lives (yours).
I STRONGLY suggest you look into a divorce ... determine the liklihood of ample alimony. If it sizes up well, THEN tell him .. get help, or pay alimony ..... and mean it. You are 'at risk' every minute. I don't think you want to live like that ... it is apparent.
Someone suggested marriage counseling. Won't ever happen. It's just Lexie he saying he's going to go get help. But like I said in my past comments his Mother was a very mean woman but at the same time he knows right from wrong. I had a Mother who was very mean but I knew I didn't want to be like her.
Our one Son told him the other day when him and his wife came by. He told his dad that he raised them to never lie or leave a woman and everything he taught them he isn't following and he should practice what he preaches.