Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
My slow suicide is smoking. There are times when I can fight the urge to die, and even work out and try to eat healthy and live a spiritual life. That is not the case now, and I have been struggling for 3 weeks now. I'm a single mom, that keeps me from just ending it here and now. Thank God she is 18. I work like a dog. I'm a social worker for child protective services. I have to deal with horrible people day to day, or just people that nobody else wants to deal with. I'm right there at the edge of being suicidle, so I smoke, hoping it will shorten what has been a horrible life. I fought and struggled to get an education, while working 2 jobs at once, and raising a baby. I worked in hell for 8 years, and finally found a better work environment, but still doing the same old shit. Now my home owners insurance is saying they will cancel in 3 weeks because of some branch that needs cutting, that NOBODY told me about, yet they knew about it since January. Now I have 3 goddamned weeks to pay someone to cut all my trees back cause I don't even know what damn branch they're talking about. Other insurance companies are all suspicious and weary of me because my current one has said they are going to cancel. I just can't take this shit anymore. I just can't. I've fucking tired goddanmit!
gordos4
whatswrong, wow, I am doing the same thing. I smoke too, hoping I will get cancer & then refuse treatment. I just don't care anymore.
dardi
My mother's neighbour was diagnosed with lung cancer, they gave her 6 months, she's still here 3 years now. Refused treatment and still has a few cigarettes a day. She's dying a slow death in front of her husband and family. Please quit if you can.
littlelucyx3
It's a hit or miss on whether you will die from that ever or if it will even have enough of a negative impact on you. It's far from a suicide attempt. If smoking helps and you don't care about dying then I guess there is nothing wrong with smoking. It would suck to get an oral disease and have to live with no teeth though.
brokenpieces1990
Hey, I took up smoking last year and I say go for it. Two years ago I would've joined a protest march to ban cigarettes. Now, I smoke daily. Of course it's bad for you and you shouldn't do it, but like I always say it's better than committing suicide! if it is helping to get you through this difficult time, than it's good you are smoking (well, not good but you know what I mean). You are dealing with a lot of crap and I don't blame you, although I do hope someday when the storm passes, you will find a reason to quit and to live!
stevebhopes
You have so much on your plate and I can see why you feel so overwhelmed. I am glad you have your daughter and I hope you keep holding on for her sake. Kudos to you for accomplishing so much in the midst of such difficult circumstances. Please hold on and don't give up. Praying for you to find some light and hope.
whatswrong19
Thanks to all of you for the replies, that's the good thing about smoking for me, It gets me through the shitty stuff, then I can lay them down again, it's hard the first few days, but then I'm totally off them again. I only smoke when I'm having a crisis, and even though it doesn't feel like it at the time, those things pass, and the cigarettes help me through it, and your right it's better than suicide, I used to smoke daily years ago, I quit a couple of times then went right back when I was younger because the side affects weren't as bad as they are now that I'm 41 and on birth control.
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