Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
I really thought I was doing better. In fact I thought I was almost cured. I thought this summer I would be looking for work and keeping busy with my son. But now the beast has slammed me right back down to where I was before. I feel drained and exhausted. I can't think straight or make up my mind what to do next. My attitude is very negative and I feel very defensive and angry all over again. I hate myself when I am like this and most of the time I am like this. I'm not pleasant to be around at all. I don't even want to be around me----why would anyone else want to be around me? I can't believe this is happening to me all over again. I've been battling this thing for 20 years! (Well actually all my life which is 48 years, but whose counting, right?)
all this to say heidi, you might need to be in therapy right now i really don' tknow but i can say that you sound very extremely hard on yourself....you don't have to be in therapy if you don't want to be. it almost sounds like you think you "SHOULD" be in therapy right now and you're giving yourself a awfully hard time for not being.
you are not lazy is my guess. maybe you are i don't know you at all but the reasons you gave make perfect sense because depressed people isolate and feel like a giant burden on everyone. we don't want to have to, i should speak for myself, i don' twant to put a mask on and be kind and cordial or get around in public with strangers who have no clue what it feels like to be in a state of severe depression. i don't even want to take a shower most of the time.
please be kind to yourself. you have a mental illness and it's not your fault!!! i have a mental illness or two, fibromyalgia, and lots of addictions i'm recovering from. i may not have made the best choices is my life which led me to this point but it is not my fault . becuase i have such a dysfunctional life i've learned that i cannot hate my illnesses out of myself or my life. i do better when i try to give them love and understanding and compassion.
heidi if i am way off base please accept my apology!!! i'm only commenting because i'm going down too.....and when i was reading your posts it really struck me how i used to sound like you. if it's helpful carry on.....