I can't think of anything really to say other than keep fighting.

Gentle hugs.

Thank you Pepper!

Do you have the type of programs that will pay for your books and tuition? We have a school that is called "Adult Education". They teach a lot of what the college's do in order to help you find a job once you go through the course. One course is for working in an office, another is becoming an accountant, those types of jobs. They actually will pay for all the books and all the fees. I found this by going to the employment development department here in our town. I could not continue because of my chronic pain but I gave it my best. This is the second time I have heard of this" treatment resistant depression". In my opinion, the doctor has become resistant and just doesn't want to do his job. Have you had blood tests taken to see if you are lacking any of the vital vitamins like some people are: i.e. Vitamin B, Vitamin D, etc.... That may be a possibility. I can understand your not wanting a relationship right now. We first have to deal with our own lives and not try to take on another person's life as well. The right relationship will come your way when the time is right. I don't like to hear that you are feeling suicidal again. I hope they are just thoughts and nothing you would go forth with. Life is going to get better hon, it will. Back to your medications. There are so many different types of medicines for depression and sometimes it takes awhile to find the right one. Some doctors give up too fast on one type which is unfair to you. I hope you have a good pdoc but I'm a little concerned because of this doctor's "treatment resistant" remark. Please don't give up and keep us posted on how you are doing, okay? If you continue to feel suicidal, please feel free to contact me. I'm on here each afternoon, 7 days a week.

I have been feeling the same as you for several months now. Just so you know others understand.

Thank you for the reply gramybear!

We do have an adult education centre here, but it is for ppl who havent finished high school. The only program they offer that leads to a job is a personal support worker and it is about $1200 to take.
I am in college for nursing. I may have to hold off again but with my age its frustrating. I was only in college part-time because of how my health and depression has been.
I am really hoping the new med Im to start next week will help. Its a different class of the SSRIs. Ive been on about 15 different kinds.

Well, I want to wish you well and hope this new med helps you and is what you are looking for! I just wish they had a program that could help you with your school.

Thank you!!

Good luck with your new meds and getting back in school. Why did they cut your support for payments out? Have you tried student loans?

Thank you zazas for responding. The OSAP/financial aid claims i have an over payment now and I don't understand how. There was no extra money in September once my course were paid for and it didn't even leave me enough money to buy all the textbooks.
The bank refuses to give me a student line of credit or increase the one I have now. I will not be able to come up with at least $2000 in September and even more next january.

I don't know that I can offer much more support other than to keep going - if we stay in this 'game' long enough, the percentages have to eventually go in our favour; but I can directly relate to being less & less intolerant of one's current plight..
I would not rely on the current pdoc's assessment; your condition may be too challenging for him to invest proper treatment & may be more of a reflection of his lack of expertise..there is a med or combination of meds that should ease your levels..If you are really on the verge of self-infliction than in-patient care will be your best alternative - but don't give up! You can even look at it as a temporary escape; a retreat..
You can always talk to me :0

ps: I meant to say tolerant - not intolerant..(I need to proof-read before hitting the 'add' button)

Thank you mal for always being there and caring!!

Im sorry your going through such a hard time. I hope your new meds start working and pray you can find the funding to continue your course. Gentle hugs

Thank you Angel for your thoughts and hugs.

Sorry things are so bad for you. Maybe you could see another doctor, there are so many meds out there and I know from experience that some doctors are stuck in a rut with their prescribing or just don't have the expertise. I hope you can find a way to finish your course, I wish I was brave enough to go back to college.