this is making me tearful as i reply because my grnadad died on the 11th june. i had sort of grieved for him a little tiny bit before he died because i knew it was coming in a way, it was a total shock when it actually happened and how it happened but i knew it was coming. i dont think its that u dont care about him i think its just that u may have grieved a little already and thats ok.

its totaly ok not to know how ur feeling. loosing someone is a very hard time to go through and especially hanging around knowing before hand its coming soon.

i dont think what im saying is making sense, im waffling. im sorry. i just wanted to give u a hug cos i sorta know how u feel.

just know its ok to feel however u feel. i hope ur grandad is ok for aslong as possible and when the time comes that he goes in a peaceful way. HUGS.x

Aww kettle :(

My grandmother (and last remaining grandparent) is rapidly declining in health as well... I think I've told you that though.

I know exactly what you are feeling as I am feeling so much the same. I love her and selfishly I want her here for forever! But there is also the part of me that feels so sad about her *clearly* visible deterioration (and sadly, her awareness of it) that I dread watching her suffer much longer. And then I feel guilty for feeling that way too.

I don't know what to say... I guess just try to focus on the time you have left with him. Make sure he knows how loved and respected he is... if he's your primary role rodel, then he's obviously a wonderful man :D

Hugs you. Never forget I'm here, you are my friend and I care!

And YAY for 'role rodels'!!!

What the heck :P

Spend as much time with him as you can. My dad has been dying for 5 years & im still not sure im all that prepared.

Sorry about your grandpa.

Obeylix,

I'm sorry to hear about your grandfather. It's hard to lose someone. I've had it both ways -- sudden death and lingering death -- in my grandparents, so I know what it's like. IMO, it's best to be prepared. And yes it is possible to grieve before he goes. You're grieving the loss just the same.

Annie

Obey,

You do make sense and am so very sorry. I have been throught the grieving process too many times. With this being said, I believe you are ready but unfortunately there could be much unexpected grief ahead.

((( HUGE HUGS ))))

Thank you all.

I should apologise. There should have been a trigger warning with this, just for considerations sake.

He is a wonderful man. He lost the power of speech after the first stroke but always had a way of getting his opinion across. I wonder if I had had his vocal input, if I would have had such a hard fall during my first breakdown.

I spent this afternoon with him and my sister. It was distressing to see him like that but the doctor saw him and said improvement was being made but it could all go the other way still.

I feel for my nan. She is exhausted and will only accept limited help. Being stubborn is a family trait :P

I think you need to do what works for you. I've done pretty well losing family, but have not lost that many really close family members.

What works for me is to accept that I may/will lose them, but defer the dealing with it until it actually happens. My wife wants to prepare long before the event, but her big loss so far was her dad, and he went quite unexpectedly.

Gentle hugs

I'm so sorry you are going through this. In some ways there really is no way to prepare yourself but in another way there is. I've experienced grief before losing someone but going through those emotions can bring so much appreciation for the moment. I've been at the point where I was grateful for every minute I still had with them and each hour or day that I had beyond that was so precious even if I couldn't stop crying while they slept or when I was away. My therapist keeps telling me to take the grieving process as it comes. She says that allowing youself to go through the process as it happens whenever it comes is the key.

I don't think there's really any ideal protocol to follow when it comes to preparing for someones death. And I think that the grieving process happens in stages that probably begin before the person even dies.
Also, there really isn't any right or wrong way to feel at a time like this.
Your emotions may seem to be up one minute and down the next and that's okay. The important thing is that you don't go through this alone. You need support from friends and family. Reaching out here at DS is a good starting point. You might also want to consider counseling if the grief is looking more like depression.

My grandfather just past away and the viewing is Saturday. Yes I am going to miss him but its a part of life. I am not really a church going person or real religious, but I do believe in a afterlife and I believe i'll seem him again. Im not sure how serious your grandfather condition is but if you can talk to his doctor that would be your best bet. But either way the best thing to do is spend and enjoy the time left you have with him.

I think when you say you are not feeling enough, it's your mind blocking these thoughts as they are too painful. We are built to defend ourselves from pain....
However there is nothing wrong with mentally prepaing yourself for the worst... unfortunately the end result is inevitable at some point,that doesn't mean you are writing him off...

I once sent a card to my dying uncle which told him how wonderful I thought he was. This could have seemed like a eulogy.(spelling) but it was taken as it was meant and was very pleased...

As has been previously said, we all have our own way of dealing with grief etc. There is no right or wrong..
xx

Don't feel guilty fella, we all deal with death differently. There's no right or wrong way, there's just how you feel.

Hugs, I'm so sorry about your grandfather.

emotions aren't good or bad they just are, a friend told me that once. maybe you are protecting yourself for when the day does come. you love him with all your heart and soul. that is enough.

hmmmm, I feel I have no wisdom to offer on this one.

But I will say, there is never enough time, in my experience, to spend all the time you really wish for, with people such as your grandfather. It just is never enough, no matter how long they live.

So, as a few have mentioned here, treat each moment as special. And spend as much time with him as you can. Say the things you've always wanted to, but never did. You'll be so glad you did it, believe me.

And remember, whenever his time comes, a big part of him lives on in you. That is your treasure. You carry him with you wherever you go.

Big hug and a smile...he sounds amazing.