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Should I just cut them out of my life?

imiru
imiru

heres the situation. I have two friends who had a few bad fights, Kendra is super sensitive about her looks and weight, Jon has ADHD, Aspergers and has no filter when he talks. Well one evening they were talking and somehow got on the topic of why they had never dated because they had known each other for years. Jon said, " you probably are the ideal girl for me Kendra, if you were 50 pounds lighter I would date you." Needless to say she didnt take it well. He refuses to apologize for it because he believes shes the one at fault for being so sensitive and not loving herself enough. She has yet to let it go and just keep living her life.


I have been hanging out with both seperatly and not telling the other because I dont want to start drama or lose either since they both are great friends when they arnt being childish. Well I was over at Jon's for an afternoon when Kendra called me and I had to ask Jon to please stop yelling because I knew Kendra would hear him and get pissed. Jon then got mad at me, said I was ashamed to be around him. That I was making him into a dirty little secret and then threw a chair across the room and smashed his lighter against the wall. Kendra hung up and I had to hear from someone else that she cant be friends with poeple who still want to be friends with him.


I realize I should have been more honest and just said, I'll hang out with who ever I damn well please but this is what I get for trying to cater to everyone at the same time.

bridgie101
bridgie101
Yea definitely. Tell them if they want their dramas to have them on their own time, you are a friend to both and will remain so, and when they've got over their feewings and become friends again, then everything can get back to normal.

Strikes me they're both at fault:

1. Jon is superficial;
2. Kendra is superficial

OMG they're both superficial. Lock 'em in a room together and see who comes out alive.
Community LeaderThePepperMan
ThePepperMan
Nobody is all good, nobody is all evil. (OK, there may be some who come very close to one of those extreme situations.)

I say tell each of them separately that how Jon talked to Kendra was very rude, but for your own reasons you choose to be friends with each of them. State that you are not a mediator who is assigned to resolve their conflict, they are old enough to do this on their own.

Then let them make their own minds up.


Or if you do chose to make a choice and drop one of both of them, you might want to let each one know from you directly (rather than the gossip mill) what you decided and why.

Gentle hugs, hope you resolve this
lostsoul72
lostsoul72
What Jon said in my opinion is VERY childish and even more selfish. It makes me sick that people are so superficial to say well I would date you, but your to fat or any number of other stupid reasons. Its called Karma when they deny a good person and then run out and get burnt by the one that was in shape and used them for the time being.

You have to do what best for you and if they don't like it then I guess they can both go. Don't make yourself hurt for others.
Debbalina
Debbalina
It sounds like you care a great deal for both. I think when Kendra said she cant be friends with anyone that is friends with Jon - it is an over reaction because she is hurt. Maybe she needs some time to herself. She'll come around.