Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
I went to a support group tonight because I thought it would help me to feel a little less tense. I am very wary of opening up in front of groups and was feeling nervous when I went in. As soon as I shared with the host, I started crying, I didn't even think I felt that bad.
At the end of the group, for check out, I was feeling much better and I said that I didn't feel as tense.
One of the group members popped up and said that it's a good thing that I was feeling less tense, because he was going to leave because of me.
I was so shocked I left the minute I had the chance. I just ran out of there, like a bat out of hell. I didn't stay to socialize. I was brimming with anger after that. Here it was so hard to talk in the group, I was having such a hard time, and I started balling the minute I came home. That comment bothered me so much it might have been better if I had not gone at all. I felt that the whole group undid everything, in fact I found it devastating. I started to wonder what was the point of even sharing at all in a group if that was what was going to happen. I mean really, what IS the point? People go to those things when they are feeling tense, not beause they are alright. What makes other ppl's problems better than mine? I had a rough Christmas, like I usually do. That nailed it.
Then, I got this text. I have been thinking for quite a long time that I dont' want to be friends with this person because she acts like she does not know me in front of other people. Well, she invited me to come to the house and make something to eat, and I texted, only texted, because I figured she might not call me back. Just like I predicted, she had her brother call me to cancel. Just 'let's do it another day.' I am really tired of the bullshit and dont' think we should get together anymore. In fact, I really want it to end. Not even answer my text, but have her brother call me to cancel? Really?
I was having an alright day until the whole thing plummeted for me. I wish I never went to the group tonight. Could have kept the whole thing to myself and did a conference call instead. I hate being judged.
At the end of the group, for check out, I was feeling much better and I said that I didn't feel as tense.
One of the group members popped up and said that it's a good thing that I was feeling less tense, because he was going to leave because of me.
I was so shocked I left the minute I had the chance. I just ran out of there, like a bat out of hell. I didn't stay to socialize. I was brimming with anger after that. Here it was so hard to talk in the group, I was having such a hard time, and I started balling the minute I came home. That comment bothered me so much it might have been better if I had not gone at all. I felt that the whole group undid everything, in fact I found it devastating. I started to wonder what was the point of even sharing at all in a group if that was what was going to happen. I mean really, what IS the point? People go to those things when they are feeling tense, not beause they are alright. What makes other ppl's problems better than mine? I had a rough Christmas, like I usually do. That nailed it.
Then, I got this text. I have been thinking for quite a long time that I dont' want to be friends with this person because she acts like she does not know me in front of other people. Well, she invited me to come to the house and make something to eat, and I texted, only texted, because I figured she might not call me back. Just like I predicted, she had her brother call me to cancel. Just 'let's do it another day.' I am really tired of the bullshit and dont' think we should get together anymore. In fact, I really want it to end. Not even answer my text, but have her brother call me to cancel? Really?
I was having an alright day until the whole thing plummeted for me. I wish I never went to the group tonight. Could have kept the whole thing to myself and did a conference call instead. I hate being judged.
I know he hurt you but just remember you had the rest of the group behind you.
Don't let it keep getting to you. Don't set yourself up by answering her texts. Remember, it shows her bad character, not yours. Sorry this happen to you.
As for the group experience, that sucks big time. I know just how you feel, too. It happened to me once in an HIV support group for women. I was talking about my fears about all the meds and my blood tests, etc. And then this other woman pipes up about how I "scared" her or something. I felt like I was being chastised and told not to express how I really felt.
But now, looking back on it, I see how we need to let other people take responsibility for THEIR feelings. If they have a problem with something we say, that's THEIR problem to work out in the group, or with their therapist. It's not OUR fault they have that reaction. The best thing that you or I could have said in our respective situations is, "I'm sorry you felt that way. I hope you're able to resolve those feelings." Or something like that.
It's a hard lesson, to learn to take ownership of our own feelings and to realize other people's comments are their problem, not ours. I don't think I've completely learned that lesson, to be honest.
Anyway, I'm really sorry you went through that. You won't be judged here. {{{{hugs}}}}
But now, looking back on it, I see how we need to let other people take responsibility for THEIR feelings. If they have a problem with something we say, that's THEIR problem to work out in the group, or with their therapist. It's not OUR fault they have that reaction. The best thing that you or I could have said in our respective situations is, "I'm sorry you felt that way. I hope you're able to resolve those feelings." Or something like that.
I hope that you are feeling better.
(((Hugs)))