I got to be up in 3 hour I need sleep if its possible

You are NOT scum, news like this is shocking to put it mildly.

I think it's very understandable to go into "shock" over this and need to check with others that it really did happen.

The fact you were writing in your journal is irrelevant. You found out and it certainly was not anything you ever expected you'd find happened to a family member.

You've been through so very much heartache in such a short time,
offing the perp won't help anyone, especially not the victim. You're going to prison would most likely throw a heep of guilt on her and right now, guilt is not something that would help her.

Maybe write a journal entry, keep it private if needed and just write out what you want to do to the perp. Just maybe that will release some of the pressure.
If you're leary of putting it on site, grab a notebook or use Microsoft word and just put it down that way. You can always destroy it later and not worry about someone, somehow, knowing what you want to do.

I think your anger is justified but keep in mind, if you act on your feelings, it'll just make things worse.
I'm not denying your feelings, but this is one time you have to NOT act on them the way you want to.

I know, easier said than done, but think about it, ok??

At least you're getting some of the pressure out by posting, I hope that will help you.

peace....

Um, you've just laid your soul bare over the last 8 months of losing Holly, & all the pain & anguish it's caused you. Then this comes up too, hmm wonder why you're upset!! What's the worst that could happen if you did what you want to him? You'd go to prison for the rest of your life & he'd be dead & out of his misery. You'd lose any chance of getting your son back, & have to look @ him grow up in pictures & through a glass window on visitation day. & he'd be dead & out of his misery. Your dad would end up in a nursing home, because no one is there to care for him, & he'd be dead & out of his misery. Or, you can be there for his victim, none of the bad stuff happen to you that I said, & he gets to live out most of the rest of his life living some where that what he did to her ( or him) seem like a Sunday walk in the park. I'm going through the same thing w/ 2 of my grand daughters right now Drew. & believe you me, my first instinct was to drive 3 1/2 hours to New Orleans, find this 17 Y/O neighbor of theirs, that would do that to an 8 & 11 Y/O, and do things to him you'd only imagine in his worst nightmares. I've decided that I'll let the courts send him to a living hell, before the inmates in Angola send him there, for real!!!! JMHO

Drew you are justified in your anger. As a child of sexual abuse I can tell you the words of comfort removing the blame from me, never came, from those that should have . So do what you can to support those children by being a listening ear or emotional support. A post card, Just saying you love them and are available when they want to talk, will help. Nothing to pushing , Just Hi you are in my thoughts today, love you. will do.
Kids of that age rarely get mail in their name, so it would be a good thing to get something with their name on it. Letting them know they are thought of in a good way.

"This person has already lied about me in the past. This person is a big reason of why I lost my son"
Petition for a new custody hearing to remove their input on the matter and re-evaluate your case.

I got angry just reading what happened. Do what you can to focus your anger on making things better. In some cases "better" can only mean "less bad". Being there for the victim(s) is good. Using this to get custody of your son back would be good.

Gentle hugs

Oh sweetie. I am so so sorry. I can only imagine the anger you are feeling right now. I don't even know what to say. I wish I had been here for you when you found this out. I agree though, taking ' justice' in your own hands isn't the answer. It would end up with you behind bars and you know it can't change what has already happened. Thank God this piece of shit is in jail right now. I am just so so sorry.

((((((( comforting hugs )))))))

LMT

I thank you for your desperate honesty. You bring real passion to our community, and I feel humbled to share in the things that mean so much to you; and that give you so much pain and anger. We reach out to each other, and our hands reach back. There seems to be a lot of relief in simply knowing that we are heard; that to someone, our hurts and sorrows MATTER!

I wish for healing for the young victim in your family. For you, this seems another cross to bear, he, it, will be dealt w by those in jail. Please, don't you dirty your hands.