Maybe i should write this on the anixety site instead of here but there is a relation. 

I attempted to go out on a date tonight. After ten years on the shelf because of my situation of having to take care of my mom by living with her. I finally now am living on my own and stable...or so i thought. I wanted to meet people but i dont go to bars anymore. I lost all of my friends because they were stll in the party scene and by taking care of my mother they didn't want to come over, so they slid away one by one. so i tried Tinder and met a good person, she was enjoyable to text with and i moved it to some very PG flirting to setting up a date tonight. 

When she arrived i was hit with a social anxiety from 10 years of rust (heck! 35 years of rust. i was never good at dating). At dinner it was very hard to feel relaxed, in fact impossible. But the real hit came from knowing her son has aspergers and the similarities to that of my own son and hit autism. What hurt was her, like me is a parent whose doing so much for her wonderful boy, it upset me that i could so lightly flirt and lead on so early. The thought of rejecting her when she seemed to really like me and hurting someone whose already fighting so hardmade me want to run away. Over texts it was safe and easy to hide within my own thoughts but seeing her made it real and the reality of dissapointing if we didn't click. we never had a chance because i was already out before 'hello'. She being very understanding and i aske if we could go back to texting and she said sure. but i feel im not ready in any way to date and wonder if i ever will be. Usually i'm more optomistic but this one pulled me down.