Are you saying he is denying you food? Are you saying you need to leave your living situation? Are you in an abusive or neglectful living environment?

Need to get these questions clarified before making any suggestions.

why not a shelter?

What is happening is money is tight, and often there is not enough for food because he's paying bills. I eat once a day. Meanwhile he is finding food because at five foot six he's ballooned to 200 pounds. I consider it an emotionally abusive situation and the neglect yes because he got us into this. I do not want to go to a shelter and will not go there. I have always been very sheltered, and the shelters here have a lot of very bad violent sorts. I have checked with lawyers and social workers and my options are grim to none. There is no alimony in my state, only rehabilitative alimony and I can't work. I've been turned down by SS but don't have the money for a lawyer. I have no family, no friends, no way to make money, no way to leave.

I also have serious neurological issues from three surgeries to my back, and what could be yet even more surgery on my neck for three discs. I am unable to be in a shelter environment because my health is not good. I have been turned down every which way I went for help. Social security, social security disability 2, also in my state you need to be separated for a year before any money is considered. In the meantime I would not qualify for any insurance, and my husband is not obliged to keep me on his insurance if I leave. I'd be non insurable, and given the enormous health issues this is not an option.

"money is tight, and often there is not enough for food because he's paying bills."
So because he controls the money, he eats more than you do, and you do not get enough. That is abuse in my book.
Aside from that, you have bigger problems.

I assume you have no desire to continue the marriage, .. in fact, would not object to a divorce.

In Texas, one can retain a SS Disability attorney. They are only paid if you win. The fee is 25% of your award UP TO $5,000. You need to talk to one in your state. Unfortunately, it can take years to get awarded the benefit. If you do win, you are paid back pay to about when you filed the claim. If you have filed and been denied, you have some time to appeal. If you are still in that time frame, get an attorney quick so you do not have to file a new claim.
You still have bigger problems, because that will take quite some time, but get an attorney and get the appeal rolling.

You are disabled, and unemployable and in an abusive marriage. You are his dependent. Being his dependent, you are probably prevented from social services like Medicaid but I don't know.

http://www.dhmh.state.md.us/mma/Eligibility/medcareprog/html/MCP-program.html

You are going to have to throw yourself into the Social Services resources in your area for housing, medical care, counseling.

Look at this and consider calling them:

http://www.womenshousing.org/

Go to www.google.com and do a search on:

social services women maryland

where you will find many services that should help you. Cannot hurt to look. Your life is not over. You can find a solution but you must look, look, look. Figuring out what to do and what to do first is hard without knowing your options. Your options will be found with your community Services, both State and County. Use Google to start looking.

I have done all the things you have suggested and have ended up with closed doors. No I am not eligible for Medicaid unless I move out homeless. If I leave I'd have no health insurance and I'm not well. I've gone to social workers, counselors, Social Security to no avail. I'm tired...I'm dead tired and too frightened to look look look. I just want to lay in bed and never get out which about what I've been doing. No not adverse to a divorce but adverse to no money and no healthcare for a year. I'd have to be separated at least that amount of time to receive anything. What am I supposed to do til then? Forget it...like I said my life is over. I'm too chicken to end it so I'll just sit in bed and rot. With what I'm eating shouldn't take that long.

What about seeking help through a church? Maybe they have some connections that don't require the social services route. Perhaps providing food, or some counseling to guide you through this impossible time.

I'm not a part of any religious institutions but maybe. I don't go to church.