Depression Support Group

Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.

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selfish or not, here it is

whatswrong19
whatswrong19

I went through some hell to make sure my child was taken care of, in an enviroment that was free of spousal abuse, free of many things I had to go through as a child.  I am alone, I am single, because my child came first. Still all my extra money goes to support her in college.  My father is dying, on top of everything else, we don't know how much time he has left, and she wants to spend thanksgiving with her father's family, the family who has DONE NOTHING for her, he did not pay child support, he only came around when he needed to show face for his family with her, only wanted her on those most important days of the year so he doesn't look like the dead beat dad he has always been, the spousal abuser he has always been, the man who stole 20 of his current wife's pain pills and blamed this on my daugther when she was 16.  I never get to see her, I work and she's in school, so those few days when I can see her, she thinks she should be spending with a dead beat who probably wouldn't even cry if she got hit by a truck. I'm hurt and I 'm angry, and the same time I don't care, I just don't care, 

drynoch
drynoch
peple suck
annieheart
annieheart
Oh my, I know the feeling of this heart ache. I have 3 children 29,25 and 12. My 29 year old is very self centered. I have been the Only one there for her and her fiance(well me and her step dad). She has dis-guarded any of my feelings and both have hurt me alot. I cant go into details,It would be to long. Last week I was so depressed. Maybe its time for your ex to take the burden of college expenses on. Time to do for you more while you still can. Take some of that money do something fun for a change. People including our own kids take advantage of us and disgaurd us because we allow it. I realize this with my own daughter. Im not putting my life on hold no longer for those who dont appreciate me. I hope in despite of it all you can find some happiness on thanksgiving.
whatswrong19
whatswrong19
Thank you so much Annie heart, that's just what I'm going to do.
Community LeaderThePepperMan
ThePepperMan
Is it possible that you shielded her so well that she does not see the bad in him? Or is it that she is longing for the father that she wants to have so much that she sees him that way?

I agree, it may be time for you to remind him in front of your daughter that he still owes you for child support, and that paying for college would be a good way to start to even up the score.
theflying400
theflying400
Agreed with ThePepperMan
Its pretty common in children with divorced or seperated parents (especially if there sheltered from what really happened or one parent talks crap about the other) most of this will most likely blow over as she grows up but you may need to calmly sit her down and explain the situation to her. Im sure she loves you with all her heart she's just confused and hurt
You'll be in my prayers -theflying400
bridgie101
bridgie101
Of course you care. It hurts when our children don't spend time with us. But you do have to understand that she will remember in the years to come who was there for her. And when she has children, she will understand so much more.

She'll be more years an adult than an adolescent. She will understand more years than she doesn't. Rejoice when she spends time with her father, and be glad for her: this will take the heat out of things for her and when you say 'what about me' it will be better understood.

Book her in sooner than he does so that you get the best dates. Make events. Look around for opportunities. I am taking the kids ice skating this weekend. If they have an activity they are more likely to come. :)
Sly
Sly
I recently disowned a niece and nephew for mis-treating my elderly parents. I am also the executor of the my parents estate. They will never know how bad they screwed themselves until the time arrives. They have pissed off the wrong uncle, poor selfish jerks!
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