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Self induced isolation

Hylian_Jedi
Hylian_Jedi

Outside my locked door lives a world. A beautiful world full of wonder and magic, a world in which I dont belong.


This box in which I live keeps me from the world, keeps me from them. People. I have been abandoned and forgotten by those who use to call me friend, neglated by tge mother who constantly claims "i dont care", and ridiculed by all who cant understand.


Inside my box lives me and my demons, they lie, cheat and manipulate to get their ways. I was tought that demons should be feared, loathed and to have no part in there schemes. Its was not the demons who hurt me, the demons didnt abondon me as a child and in my times of need, the demons never let me suffer alone.


Behind my locked door live my demons and myself. My demons my be evil, but humanity has proved to be even more so.

sharaninmd
sharaninmd
Are you receiving any professional help? If not, I recommend that you see a psychiatrist for evaluation and diagnosis. Medication may be recommended. The doctor would probably recommend that your talk with a therapist or a counselor.
SarcasmANDscifi
SarcasmANDscifi
The words you use are very poetic and heavy with sadness. Im sorry your suffering so much hon. Your not alone. Im here to talk if you want. Your words spoke to me. Hugs
KenDetroit
KenDetroit
You're not alone! You can stay in your box, just bring it with you to some of your favorite, beautiful places...start out small and gradual at a park by a stream and barefoot and feel connected to the earth to start with, try this a for a couple of minutes a few times a week and let the world come to you.
veggiequeen
veggiequeen
Many years ago (when I would be just a few years younger than you) I would reach a point where I was not in a locked room, but instead on our front porch. I could feel the sunshine, but (because of a severe injury a few years prior) I would not be able to physically participate in life...so I would be forced to watch as friends and the entire world did pass right on by without me.

I also felt that isolation that puts us in that dark empty lonely place. I was deep in that black hole and already considering how my exit would not even effect those i loved (except for a very brief time) But, I was fortunate. My sister would realize and get me into therapy, a brief stint in mental health and back into life again.

As a little girl the isolation (that you are putting yourself into now) is what i was taught early on in a dysfunctional family. Much later I would finally come to open up and share with so many others going through similar struggles (as well as a kind therapist here and there)
My wish would be that maybe some day you would be able to experience this too.

PS No it is not all sunshine and roses for us, but to have others who share (or at least can understand) what we have endured can help get through the pain.

My thoughts and prayers are with you

I'd like to think not all of humanity is evil. you need to give us a chance to show you