Thank you for sharing. There are many reasons and ways to self-hurt. Often we want to punish ourselves because we think we are hurting others or are a disgrace that deserves it. We feel the need to be punished and in that pain is a release. That release becomes addictive. A true release isn't filled with regret. Hurting ourselves is just listening to Depression's lies. Hurt never heals hurt. Sometimes we must endure some pain in order to heal, but no regrets in that. Self-hurting is all regret. The release from self-hurting is sadly addictive. It is about finding a better way. Punching a pillow repeatedly or intense exercises can be an alternative. Some find the burn from intensive exercises to be a healthy alternative to the release from cutting. Cutting is an addiction. Any good Therapist wouldn't do something that would furtherly hurt you. Addiction lies to us too.. It tells us that we can do it on our own, when we can't. No shame in getting help. You are more than worth it. You are always in my prayers. Thank you and God Bless.

Thanks for sharing this and for your tremendous strength. I am sorry to hear about the self- harm. I would like for you to please discard/remove anything that would hurt/harm you asap or have someone to so this. Is there a close friend or someone whom lives with you?. I suggest you are not alone for long periods you need someone there to help you stop self-harm. Please continue therapy and please try these. We are here for you.
Coping Techniques – paint, journal, write song or poem of how you feel, write down negative feelings then rip up paper, listen to music
Calm yourself- take a hot shower, pet or cuddle with dog or cat, massage your neck, hands and feet
If you feel disconnected or numb- call a friend (talk about anything), take a cold shower, hold ice cube in the crook of your arm or leg, chew something very strong such as, peppermint or grape fruit peel
Release Tension- exercise such as, dance, run, hit punching bag, punch a cushion or mattress or scream into pillow, squeeze a stress ball or squish play-doh or clay, rip something (paper or magazine), make noise (play instrument, bang on pots and pans)
Substitute for cutting- use a red felt tip pen to mark where you usually cut, rub ice across your skin where you usually cut and put rubber bands on wrists, arms legs and snap them instead of cutting or hitting