Low self-esteem can negatively affect virtually every facet of your life, including your relationships, your job and your health. But you can take steps to boost your self-esteem, even if you've been harboring a poor opinion of yourself since childhood. Start with these four steps.

Step 1: Identify troubling conditions or situations
Think about the conditions or situations that seem to deflate your self-esteem. Common triggers might include:

A business presentation A crisis at work or home A challenge with a spouse, loved one, co-worker or other close contact A change in life circumstances, such as a job loss or a child leaving home Step 2: Become aware of thoughts and beliefs
Once you've identified troubling conditions or situations, pay attention to your thoughts about them. This includes your self-talk what you tell yourself and your interpretation of what the situation means. Your thoughts and beliefs might be positive, negative or neutral. They might be rational, based on reason or facts, or irrational, based on false ideas.

Self-esteem is your overall opinion of yourself how you honestly feel about your abilities and limitations. When you have healthy self-esteem, you feel good about yourself and see yourself as deserving the respect of others. When you have low self-esteem, you put little value on your opinions and ideas. You might constantly worry that you aren't "good enough."

Discussions about self-esteem often are centered on children. However, many adults could benefit from improving their self-esteem. Here's how to tell if your self-esteem needs a boost and why it's important to develop a healthy sense of your own worth.

Factors that shape and influence self-esteem
Self-esteem begins to form in early childhood. Factors that can influence self-esteem include:

Your own thoughts and perceptions How other people react to you Experiences at school, work and in the community Illness, disability or injury Culture Religion Role and status in society Relationships with those close to you parents, siblings, peers, teachers and other important contacts are especially important to your self-esteem. Many beliefs you hold about yourself today reflect messages you've received from these people over time. If your close relationships are strong and you receive generally positive feedback, you're more likely to see yourself as worthwhile and have healthier self-esteem. If you receive mostly negative feedback and are often criticized, teased or devalued by others, you're more likely to struggle with poor self-esteem.

Still, your own thoughts have perhaps the biggest impact on self-esteem and these thoughts are within your control. If you tend to focus on your weaknesses or flaws, you can learn to reframe negative thoughts and focus instead on your positive qualities.

The ranges of self-esteem
Self-esteem tends to fluctuate over time, depending on your circumstances. It's normal to go through times when you feel down or especially good about yourself. Generally, however, self-esteem stays in a range that reflects how you feel about yourself overall. Consider how to recognize the extremes, as well as a healthy balance somewhere in between:

Overly high self-esteem. If you regard yourself more highly than others do, you might have an unrealistically positive view of yourself. When you have an inflated sense of self-esteem, you often feel superior to those around you. Such feelings can lead you to become arrogant or self-indulgent and believe that you deserve special privileges. Low self-esteem. When you have low or negative self-esteem, you put little value on your opinions and ideas. You focus on your perceived weaknesses and faults and give scant credit to your skills and assets. You believe that others are more capable or successful. You might be unable to accept compliments or positive feedback. You might fear failure, which can hold you back from succeeding at work or school. Healthy self-esteem. Healthy self-esteem lies between these two extremes. It means you have a balanced, accurate view of yourself. For instance, you have a good opinion of your abilities but recognize your flaws. When you understand your own worth, you invite the respect of others. Benefits of healthy self-esteem
When you value yourself and have good self-esteem, you feel secure and worthwhile and have generally positive relationships with others. You feel confident about your abilities and tend to do well at school or work. You're also open to learning and feedback, which can help you acquire and master new skills.

With healthy self-esteem you're:

Assertive in expressing your needs and opinions Confident in your ability to make decisions Able to form secure and honest relationships and less likely to stay in unhealthy ones Realistic in your expectations and less likely to be overcritical of yourself and others More resilient and better able to weather stress and setbacks Less likely to experience feelings such as hopelessness, worthlessness, guilt and shame Less likely to develop mental health conditions, such as eating disorders, addictions, depression and anxiety Self-esteem affects virtually every facet of your life. Maintaining a healthy, realistic view of yourself isn't about blowing your own horn. It's about learning to like and respect yourself faults and all.

All my life I had been looking for something, and everywhere I turned someone tried to tell me what it was. I accepted their answers too, though they were often in contradiction and even self-contradictory. I was nave. I was looking for myself and asking everyone except myself questions which I, and only I, could answer. It took me a long time and much painful boomeranging of my expectations to achieve a realization everyone else appears to have been born with: that I am nobody but myself. ~Ralph Ellison, "Battle Royal

Depression affects the way you feel about yourself inside and out. The better you feel about the inside the better you will feel about your appearance.

Exercise, Christinaki! It'll nurture the inside AND the outside! Just do whatever your physical health allows, a walk around your block maybe. A few beads of sweat...purge those toxins and negative thoughts, produce those positive endorphins.

Are you Asian? If so, believe it, you're pretty. It's just a matter of working on your inside, pushing the negativity out of your guts and nurturing some self-love. Sweat from exercise gets me there, and I think it will you too!

I agree with Koolman, exercise does help. It works for me too.

WishKittie is absolutely correct too. Often our feelings do not reflect the reality, self-esteem is a tricky one, if you have suffered setbacks in your life it can be hard to shake negative thoughts about yourself. But the clue is in the name, self-esteem has to come from within. No other person can give it to you.

I am the youngest of three brothers. They were both more accedemically successful than I was when we were all in school, and so I used to struggle badly with self-esteem issues. Towards the end of high school I realised that if I didn't start making a serious effort soon I would drop out and miss out on the rest of my life. So I sat myself down and had a serious talk with myself. At first I asked "why bother, I will only fail anyway". Then I figured "I might as well give it my best shot. If I try my best and still fail, then at least I know I tried my best". So I started putting some serious effort in. And I got good grades, I went to college, got better grades, went to interviews, landed an even better job and now I lead a generally happy and successful life.

I can trace it all back to the moment thirteen years ago when I decided to hang in there and give it my best shot.

You can do the same.There is a lot of literature available on how to train your brain to improve your self esteem. We have to learn to love ourselves. Mood Gym is a free online tool that may also help you https://moodgym.anu.edu.au

Keep posting. Getting your thoughts out can help relive the pressure. Also getting some outside perspective can help you identify where your self criticism is too harsh.

Hugs and positive vibes.

Jaz.x

I would say, you might be on to somthing with the conection between your depression and the birth control read this..... What is the link between the birth control pill and depression?

Contraceptive pills generally contain two main hormones, one being estrogen and the second being progesterone. These synthetically developed estrogen and progesterone pills are mainly employed to stop ovulation, but one of the main side effects of taking these birth control pills is the lowering of levels of serotonin, one of the neurotransmitters in the brain. Low levels of serotonin can result in one feeling depressed.

If the dosage of hormones in the prescribed medications is relatively lower, the risk involved in being effected by depression is also considerably lower. However, certain contraceptive pills that contain only progesterone are said to be more likely to cause depression; therefore, it might be advisable to check the chemical composition of the contraceptive pills before getting started on them.

The link between the birth control pill and depression might be stronger in women who have a family history of depression or have experienced depression in the past. For these women, it might thus not be advisable to take such drugs without consulting their psychiatrist or psychologist. This is because taking birth control pills might act as a trigger for major clinical depression.

As for people who are already going through depression, birth control pills that contain either or both of these synthetically manufactured hormones might exacerbate existing depression and make the condition worse.

Therefore, it is very important for women to first understand the side effects of popping birth control pills - consume a birth control pill and depression may be an unwanted consequence. Unless women first understand the unpleasant side of taking birth control pills, it might not be a good idea to start using them.

Also, for women who are on antidepressants, it is important to inform their gynecologist or practicing physician about this before starting on ovulation or birth control pills. The adverse affects of taking these drugs in conjunction will need to be discussed with the person before starting on parallel medications.

It is advisable for women to consult their gynecologist and understand the various aspects of taking birth control pills. If possible, always ask for low-dose oral contraceptive pills that are effective, but at the same time do not result in depression by reducing the serotonin or tryptophan levels in the body. Research studies do suggest that one could take a low-dose oral contraceptive birth control pill and depression does not result. This is because these drugs do not disturb the levels of serotonin or tryptophan in the body.

In any case, it is always best to be aware of the side effects of various pharmacological drugs before commencing on them. Chemical drugs, after all, always come with side effects, sometimes even serious reactions, including death.



hope it helps sweets