I wish I had an answer for you. What helps me is to tell myself that when you are depressed, your not thinking clearly. Your thoughts aren't rational right now. Hang in there and I hope you feel better soon :)

Well, that's certainly an excellent question.

I have some thoughts but would like to hold them or a bit, let them gel before I can articulate them.

I'll post later.

I think it's important to share the thoughts with someone you trust that will support you so you don't have to fight the thoughts on your own. It helps to have someone else (a supportive person) be able to give you their honest opinion and if they think the thoughts are true. You have to get lots of positives to balance out the negative thoughts in your head. Do you know where the negative thoughts come from, like is there someone in your life that told you those things and they stuck, or is there someone who's been negative to you in general?

I always struggle with those negative thoughts.I figure it is going to take a long time to change them considering I got like that in my childhood.I have even thought of possibly trying hypnotherapy.I have a feeling that and meditation would be the best things to stop that.

I have to work at it every day. But I think the more we become aware fo these negative thoughts the more empowered we become to change them. It can take time, though, and if you're at all like me you probably get tired of waiting for your mind to heal. So that's when we have to go ahead and tell ourselves nice things about ourselves and affirm ourselves. Yes it's a lot of work but I'm sure it's worth it.

I agree with making a list of nice things about ourselves. Then, you can indulge in those things, maybe. At the same time, understand that everyone has their strengths and weaknesses. Accept what strengths you DO have, and know that that is enough.

I struggle with this, myself. Hope there are some more ideas here.

I struggle alot also. It is very hard. There is a group called self hate syndrome that I belong to and it deals alot with this. I just try to take it day by day.

Mollgirl, I checked that group out. It's really awesome. I found a post similar to this one, and for some reason I was able to post this reply. Maybe it will help someone here.....The OP made a statement that read "....i'm not saying that everyone is perfect, but damn more perfect than me." The post was about negative self talk.......

My reply:

I think you are afraid to say the opposite. What if you said, "I'm not saying that you're more perfect than me, but damn everyone is perfect." instead of what you said? How would that make you feel? Would it make you feel selfish? Would it make you feel like a fraud? Or would it simply mean no one is anymore perfect than anyone else.

Granted, you may be speaking of matters such as survival. If so, if you really don't believe you are good at things that accomplish goals for survival, then just keep practicing. Self hatred isn't going to get you there. No one, even the rich ones, are perfect at it. Sometimes, I see some really cocky successful people make really avoidable mistakes. Some seemingly smart and successful people don't know simple math! Really, just keep practicing, and do the best you can. Either way, you are still perfect just as you are. Just as you are in your skin, it is perfect.

Don't be afraid of that. Don't be afraid to shed away the facade of being perfect or stronger or smarter to see what's inside the real you. Because THAT is what's beautiful, just the peace you feel from that will get you far in life. In peace, we are able to think more clearly, understand patience, and react to our environment with better precision. Being at peace is extremely important to accomplish anything in life, and it starts with understanding that whatever you are is enough.

It's very seductive to identify with our self-images... the positive and the negative ones... and more often than not, I think these are impressions, words and images that we have internalized from others beginning with our parents and carrying forward to the present moment.

However, while we may all have moments of being this way or that... personality is the parts of that we tend to repeat and reveal most frequently... really we aren't those things any more we are our hair color, skin color or height.

A lot of my self-critical stuff is pretty cruel so I've worked hard on the balancing repertoire that the other posters have talked about but also trying to befriend my ego, move from self-talk to soul-talk and creative express some of the more negative themes. I've seen a number of folks who paint pictures of their illnesses, diseases and other demons. That approach is really fascinating to me....



What would the voice that tells me that I'm stupid look like? Would it be green or yellow? Hairy, smooth or jagged? Would that voice have an odor?

It would be a fun avenue to explore!

That sounds like it would be very absolving.

Self critical thoughts need to be addressed individually.
Like putting out smoldering fires.
I try to imagine a chalkboard "on my heart" and the statement is written on there.
I evaluate the statement, see how flawed it is and unfair perhaps it's base of origin (whose mouth 8 can hear it coming from), ask myself if a friend would talk to someone that way etc
Then I erase the statement vividly and re-write my new one. It will say something much more balanced and kind. Like I'm struggling getting the ha g of this but I will succeed, Rome wasn't built in a day! Or " yeah, that's me, I'm not the best with mornings, some people aren't morning people and that's Ok. I may change, I may not but I still love myself"

Get the idea?

That self critical voice has as much power as WE give it. This is where the battle of the thoughts is fought. Change that BS to something much more realistic and kinder and balanced.

It takes like 10 positive statements to undo the damage of one harsh one, they say. So you can see how quickly this voice can sink us!

Hypnotherapy is really good for this purpose.

Ever heard of the suggestion of wearing a rubber band and when that negative thought enters your heard, snap that rubber band against your wrist. It not only brings attention to just how much negativity is going through out minds, but that wrist is sure going to get tired of getting the brunt of this, and your thoughts will change because that constant snapping is going to create a whole of pain. It's a great way to get ahold of that mindset, and seek ways to change it. And, it won't take long before one will seek ways to alter the negativity.
Many mental health professionals recommend it. Many people are surprised at just how much negativity flows through their brains dailey. I think I'm going to put one back on my wrist and wear for a while.

Jon Kabat-Zinn et al has a book or available on iTunes called The Mindful Way Through Depression. I listen to it on my iPod often. He talks alot about depressed people's tendency to think negatively about themselves and make false assumptions about others' behaviour toward us. You can't listen to it enough, or I can't. Every time I hear something new or I identify wtih something and realise it's not me, it's depression.
I find mindfulness meditation has really helped me over the past 3 yrs.

This sounds very simple but sometimes it has worked for me. If the voice in your head is telling you those things, then take out the cd and put in a new cd that tells you that you are worthwhile and not to give up

That voice in my head makes me crazy. I love the advice given here!