Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
Well here it is. I am in my third bout of depression in seven years. I have a 14 year son with high functioning autism and a 8year old daughter. I am on 200mg of sertraline and doctor will not add additional because it would be too risky because I have diabetes as well. I am married but my husband has been living in the garage or basement for the last couple of years going through his own personal demons. He has recently lost his job and he said he will be receiving unemployment but personally I can not believe anything he says. I work from home as an indpendent contractor for a company. Very thankful for the company because they are very understanding. I have not been able to get myself out of bed to work the last couple of weeks but I have been able to get the kids off to school. I can not afford this house on my own nor the amount of all the credit debt that my husband has racked up through the years. Yes, I'm an enabler. I am afraid my depression will not get better because of this situation. My mother wants me to move back home with the children, but that means taking them away from school and friends and just letting the house go into foreclosure. I'm 44 years old and feel like a complete failure.
Then go home to mum or at the very least get into a house you can pay rent on yourself. You can't live over your head like this. It'll be causing the most appalling anxiety.
As to kids? You don't ask them what they want. you tell them what will happen. They are your responsibility and you have full power over how you handle that responsibility.
44 is not too late to start over. It's the time everyone starts over somehow, early 40s. Ask anyone.
And kids adapt. They whine their heads off, but they adapt.
part of enabling is that we do things for people without being asked, and without it necessarily being expected. it becomes an expectation over time, but we start it by being afraid. We fear backlash that may never come and guard against it by giving too much: but ultimately what exact backlash is there?
We make our own rods for our own backs by giving into our own fears that we don't even know are real. And we waste years on it and yes, i certainly ended up with severe depression, anxiety, panic.
Work out what you need to do to survive, and do it. You may not need to go stay with mum, you may just need to sell the house and go buy something much smaller and cheaper that you are able to make the payments on.
Chop up hubby's credit card, have 'the talk' with him about putting his finances in your hands. Give him the 'things are going to change around here' speech. Work out what is required for the family to stay afloat, and then do it. Just do it. Work out if he is going to be invited into the new stage of your life, and then invite him or not. And if he won't play ball? consider whether you'll have to jettison him or not.
But take back the wheel and drive your life. Drive it where it needs to go to. It's your life. And it's your job to drive it.
You're running at such a deficit you're anxious and depressed. You have to fix the leak in the system if you want your energy to restore. And that means the money leak.
Anita