darling, please dont do anything rash. sometimes these are just thoughts that need to be talked out, maybe a therapist can also help? there is a difference between thinking and acting it out.

I am happy you are reaching out here, but Id also like to encourage you to seek help from a clinic/hospital? or a person like your husband, who can help u keep calm. I know its hard, but you will get through it... you have before! you are not only a survivor but a fighter!
keep reaching out, and remember you are not alone. And if anything, think of your family and how much theyd miss you!!

Hi Angela
The thing that stops me from self harm is the thought of what it would do to my family. You need to think of that too. I remember seeing a poster once that showed someone at the bottom of the ladder and it said - when you reach the bottom of the ladder just hang on. So hang on in there - one thing for sure, things never stay the same and will change.

Thank you both for the encouraging words. I talked to my husband and went to sleep and feel better today.

I've been there. I don't know what help I can offer but I'm here for you. Im glad you're feeling better but i know how quickly that can change. I've made 2 attempts and almost did a third time but I'm grateful that I somehow managed to come through it. Im a firm believer that everything happens for a reason.. and sometimes i can't believe I'm still here. But anyways, I'll give u my # if u want.. sometimes just talking to someone who knows exactly what you're going through can help ease the pain a bit. Without having to worry the people in your life, that u may have to face tomorrow..
If u get to that dark place again and need someone to talk to, my # is 925-980-0508. Please reach out before you get to that point of no return.

Always remember that you’ve already experienced the worst life can throw at you. You got through that, so you can get through anything.

Thank you jamisonDee. I'm glad you're here and made it through, stay strong! I believe everything happens for a reason too and we are here for a reason maybe to help others!

hold on to that feeling of being alive.

The sun does not rise again when you die. remember the pleasures you have felt, and seek those out in life! Those and the many pleasures you have yet to experience!

I think you just answered your own question. You tried and your glad you didn’t. I look at it like this, if you are dead then you don’t know what might happen. If your alive things can definitely change and all will be good. There’s lots of people who get through depression and are happy to still be standing. Just imagine how good it will feel the day you put all that stuff behind you and move on with your life. I get it, being at the boiling point, I’ve been there for a while now and you know what, I’m still here. We are all still fighting the good fight. I was once told by someone who I can’t remember but wish I could cause it saved me many times... the harder the fight the bigger the reward. If you don’t think you can get through this then definitely call someone suicide hotline, the Good Samaritans, but you can make it through this I honestly believe that.

I'm so glad you felt comfortable enough to post! Sleep is helpful in clearing up our feelings and thoughts. I'm glad you have a husband that you can talk to as well. Post anytime you need to. We are here to cheer for you!