Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
There seems to be a thread in some of what I am posting, I don't know, but I had put in one of my last posts that as I change, so do my relationships. How true. I'm getting to a point where, well I have no patience left. On a better more positive note, new people are just showing up unexpectedly, which is good. I've been accepting chances and invitations to do other things, I got invited to a party, so I went, exchanged numbers with some people and have been getting texted by people, which I think is reflective of the shift I am making, but my tolerance for my current friends is running out very quickly. Yesterday we met for a hangout and it was a good 45 minutes of her talking about her weight problems. I think it is fun for her to complain and she likes the attention. She is dangerously obese and was laughing and saying, "I'm hungry, I like eating," and then went back complaining about the extra 100 pounds. I tried and tried to help her, found myself giving advice, counseling her about what she eats, she eats cake, cookies, ice cream, then after the discussion, she went for free food at the bar, stuffed her face and laughed about it. All our get togethers are talks about food, nothing else anymore. And she hates herself, hates being overweight-then turns around and laughs and then proceeds to order and ice cream or something else. She LOVES the sympathy and it's obvious. Goes to exercise and training daily then binges at night. Might have a problem. She and her relative are the same way. Lately all our discussions are on portion sizes, this, that, nothing fun. My God. I was talking about my new school program and the ideas I was working on, something I might patent, and she jumped in and said, "I was thinking about doing that!" In the past, when I have done something new, different, she has tried to jump on, overshadow it, and say, "Oh, I was going to do that." There was this small voice in the back of my head telling me to be careful, not to talk about the ideas and the designs I was working on, for the next thing I know someone will turn around and be doing the exact same thing and...there goes what I am working on. I don't know. I can't help her any more. I don't want her to bring her problems to me anymore. She doesn't want solutions, she wants attention and sympathy and to take up my time and energy. Thankfully I'm building new connections I don't think I can handle much more of this.
But giving advice to someone who actually takes it feels much better than giving at advice to someone who goes back to their self destructive patterns...and keeps complaining to you about it.
I've been in friend situations similar to yourself. It's great you have branched out and met other people. Getting to know others, and being around different energy levels...and optimism can inspire growth in ourselves.
Some relationships keep us small...and feeling unheard and miserable.
But many of us continue these friendship b/c of loyalty. I think if you care about your friend...you can just say next time she brings up her weight issue...that you have advised her already and you prefer to no longer discuss it. If she wants to talk about something else, you're game.
But at the same time...if you feel like this person isn't even trustworthy...is it even worth it? This is a person who you don't trust with sharing your ideas...that already tells you a lot.
Trust is a must in all relationships...in friendship and romance.
You can decide to limit your time with this person and see them less and less.
I think when you're around more positive people, you will grow and being around good energy, raises your vibrations too.
Friends come and go. It's ok, whatever you decide.