I hope you figure out a way to live happily. I understand the feeling of wanting to run away. I just moved and started over. I felt kind of trapped. Moving didn't fix everything but it helped. Good luck and PM me if you want to talk.

Have you talked to a lawyer about having the other person buy you out? You should not have to feel like a prisoner in your own home, or in your own town. I hope you can get help with this. If we can help, we are here to support you. Hugs GB

That would create so much stress -- I'm not sure how a person would manage that if also having to cope with depression. I would seek out one room I could feel the best in and I would make my life there until I could remedy the circumstances -- as we NEED a place, even if only a room, to feel whole. Is there anyway to have someone who loves you live there with you to give needed support -- or perhaps visit enough to allow you to experience 'good feelings' in spite of circumstances? Sometimes when we cannot change a situation we can transform it into the best of what we may that allows for some healing and needed happiness until circumstances may improve. I know with the crisis I have faced since the death of my husband has made it necessary for me to adapt to this situation in ways that have often been beyond me. Complex PTSD kicks in with numbness when I can no longer manage the harm that is the reality of trying to survive in an uncaring society unable to be supportive of a disabled person coping with overwhelming challenges. I have had to transform my life in ways, with this illness, that allow me to survive by simply staying focused on what I can do, as little as that sometimes is, to make life better one day at a time.

After all you have endured to survive you have managed to cling to a growing awareness of self and what your needs are and this awareness will guide you to a better life. Focus on making your life as comfortable in these difficult circumstances as you can and over time the situation will slowly transform as more opportunity for change will come with that. Depression, when it hits us, often makes us feel so overwhelmed we are unable to see a life beyond the confines of our current distress -- but there is life beyond depression and it is within our grasp as we learn to survive. Be gentle with yourself and focus on what you may do to improve your current circumstances knowing, overtime, changes will come. With the crisis I am coping with there are many times I am too overwhelmed and exhausted from illness to see how I may survive but I am learning, over time, to find joy and happiness from making it 'grow' in small ways around me. I discovered I could create a special 'place' within myself that allows me to focus on what I may do to make life better day by day, no matter how small those efforts may be they do add up over time.