Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
My wife was manic yesterday. Shes been getting progressively worse since the med changes. Mania can be fun. She talked to me incessantly when I came home, but she was in a good mood, and I steered her out the door for dinner. Dinner was fun.
Somehow, on the trip home, I was ripped apart. Valid flaws? Perhaps. A dinner with my daughter (who lives with my ex) from last week was brought up. I did not stop my daughter from eating poorly (I never noticed it), and I let her wear a hat during dinner, and play with my palm pilot.
Ultimately, the result was that she ignored my wife and step-daughter. They took it as deliberate. Perhaps it was. I was surprised by her behavior, but I felt powerless to do anything.
But I could have stopped it (rip), I should have taken the hat away (rip), I should have stopped her from eating like an animal (rip), I should never have given me my palm (rip). My step-daughter never wants to see her again, nor does my wife. (rip-dagger-blood) They blame my ex for poisoning my daughter against them. (perhaps)
The gashing continued. Too much time in these forums helping others. (I am hers. She doesnt share). Too much time as Head Cleric in Second Life (she encouraged me to take the job. I told her it would take time. Ive only had it a week.) My soul is cleaved in two by this time. I had two major meetings last night in Second Life. If I dont attend, I basically wont be a cleric anymore. If I had skipped them, it would not have improved my wifes disposition whatsoever, but I would have been ripped the rest of the night. I go. She goes to bed.
She says I dont listen to her any more. She talks non-stop. For hours, I hear and respond to all that is said. I try to pay attention to something else for a moment. I miss a question she asks. I get knifed in the heart. She says I dont care about her anymore.
I love her so much. This hurts so much. Too much. I become numb again. Where does the pain go when Im numb? Every possible action I can take would cause more pain (this is objectivenot depression speaking outmy shrink is at a loss as well). A weeks sabbatical from her? Would she survive? Will I if I dont?
Somehow, on the trip home, I was ripped apart. Valid flaws? Perhaps. A dinner with my daughter (who lives with my ex) from last week was brought up. I did not stop my daughter from eating poorly (I never noticed it), and I let her wear a hat during dinner, and play with my palm pilot.
Ultimately, the result was that she ignored my wife and step-daughter. They took it as deliberate. Perhaps it was. I was surprised by her behavior, but I felt powerless to do anything.
But I could have stopped it (rip), I should have taken the hat away (rip), I should have stopped her from eating like an animal (rip), I should never have given me my palm (rip). My step-daughter never wants to see her again, nor does my wife. (rip-dagger-blood) They blame my ex for poisoning my daughter against them. (perhaps)
The gashing continued. Too much time in these forums helping others. (I am hers. She doesnt share). Too much time as Head Cleric in Second Life (she encouraged me to take the job. I told her it would take time. Ive only had it a week.) My soul is cleaved in two by this time. I had two major meetings last night in Second Life. If I dont attend, I basically wont be a cleric anymore. If I had skipped them, it would not have improved my wifes disposition whatsoever, but I would have been ripped the rest of the night. I go. She goes to bed.
She says I dont listen to her any more. She talks non-stop. For hours, I hear and respond to all that is said. I try to pay attention to something else for a moment. I miss a question she asks. I get knifed in the heart. She says I dont care about her anymore.
I love her so much. This hurts so much. Too much. I become numb again. Where does the pain go when Im numb? Every possible action I can take would cause more pain (this is objectivenot depression speaking outmy shrink is at a loss as well). A weeks sabbatical from her? Would she survive? Will I if I dont?
(HUGS)
I'll have to think about abuse. That one kinda floors me.
except
loves you .
big hugs hunni xx
HUGS!