Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
Hi,
I am not feeling particularly depressed about the situation, but I wanted to bring something up that is confusing me.
I feel a little guilty about not wanting to be friends with someone. I just don't feel a connection to them.
To explain, I've been in a support group that talks about unconditional love, etc. I met her there and she initiated the friendship. It has been uncomfortable for me, though. I feel nervous in her presence and uptight. Frequently, I want to avoid her because I feel diminished by her.
The reason is her pickiness. At times, she seems to have made an overly-big deal about my food allergies. Yep, I have to watch what I eat. What I don't like is being reminded of it all the time. I don't like it that she is edgy, panics, and nearly flies off the handle if she's afraid I'm going to have a reaction. I don't like being treated that way and walking on eggshells.
Over the past year, she has never wanted to spend time with my other friends. I have to make special concessions to see her, or cancel my other plans. I'm tired of that. Also, if it's a movie, it has to be the movie she always wants. The last time we were supposed to go out, I went through I short list of movies, and she said no to all of them. It's impossible.
Last, I called her last week. I just wanted to talk about something. She sent me a text saying that she'd call me in a week, because she was busy. I feel disconnected. And it's like talking to a stranger.
Any input?
The support group I'm in says that we have to love ppl unconditionally, no matter what, and that I should be ok. with it being one sided because I shouldn't "expect anything back." So it's just when it works for her?
orion
I am not feeling particularly depressed about the situation, but I wanted to bring something up that is confusing me.
I feel a little guilty about not wanting to be friends with someone. I just don't feel a connection to them.
To explain, I've been in a support group that talks about unconditional love, etc. I met her there and she initiated the friendship. It has been uncomfortable for me, though. I feel nervous in her presence and uptight. Frequently, I want to avoid her because I feel diminished by her.
The reason is her pickiness. At times, she seems to have made an overly-big deal about my food allergies. Yep, I have to watch what I eat. What I don't like is being reminded of it all the time. I don't like it that she is edgy, panics, and nearly flies off the handle if she's afraid I'm going to have a reaction. I don't like being treated that way and walking on eggshells.
Over the past year, she has never wanted to spend time with my other friends. I have to make special concessions to see her, or cancel my other plans. I'm tired of that. Also, if it's a movie, it has to be the movie she always wants. The last time we were supposed to go out, I went through I short list of movies, and she said no to all of them. It's impossible.
Last, I called her last week. I just wanted to talk about something. She sent me a text saying that she'd call me in a week, because she was busy. I feel disconnected. And it's like talking to a stranger.
Any input?
The support group I'm in says that we have to love ppl unconditionally, no matter what, and that I should be ok. with it being one sided because I shouldn't "expect anything back." So it's just when it works for her?
orion
deleted_user
I don't think you HAVE to love anyone. You can be courteous. You can offer her your support. But it doesn't sound like a friendship. I hope you can tell her about how you feel, because is sure doesn't sound like it's worth your effort to keep up. It's taking you away from your friends and the things you like.
yntovonmij
In my opinion you are getting walked all over and she knows it. You can unconditionally love some one. Those that fall in that circle.. God your parents your brother or sister and your kids. Beyond that unconditional love isn't fair. There needs to be compromises in the relationship. You both need to be happy.
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