Depression Support Group

Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.

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MTS20 05/04/2020

Hey everyone,

This is my first time posting and tbh I never wanted to get help, but it's gotten to the point where I just can't function and be happy anymore. The reason I'm asking for help is because my gf of almost 2 years just broke up with me and it was absolutely all my fault. Looking back at it I treated her absolutely horrible in every way. I always use to consider myself a good person, but after all I did to her I don't think I can ever love myself again. I constantly made her feel like she wasn't enough and I constantly put my girl best friend in front of her and made her feel like she wasn't good enough. I told her things that made her self conscious about her body and I even lied to her constantly, but the worst thing I ever did to her was flirt with a random girl so I would feel popular and cool and that’s considered cheating. I broke her trust, I broke her heart and the feelings she once had for me are destroyed. Tbh I could keep on talking forever about all the things I wish I could have done differently, but that’s never going to fix what I did. The worst part is I loved her more then anything in this world and for some reason I still did those things to her. Why would I do those things if I truly loved her? I’m so angry, disappointed and disgusted with myself and because of this I feel the need to punish myself. She wants to stay somewhat friends and nothing else, but I want more then that and it’s killing me inside. We use to hangout ever single day and now I’m lucky if she texts me once a day. I’ve tried extremely hard to move on, but I just can’t I really can’t. I don’t know if this DS thing will help me, but I’m out of options. Recently I’ve had extreme depression, anxiety and I’ve started having suicidal thoughts. I don’t have anyone that I can talk to for help so I have to ask my ex and that just hurts her even more. Should I just stay friends with her or should I block her and hope she decides to come back to me? I’m so sad and depressed all the time because I had the dream girl, but because I was selfish and Inconsiderate I pushed her away and now she’s probably gone for good.

Scaredandafraid 05/04/2020

I'm gong to say something and you need to really listen and take it to heart. If You did truly love her you would have never done what you did. It's because of these things that will make it hard for her to trust another. I have many friends who are girls and guys like you destroy thier sense of self worth. The biggest difference is you recognize that you did this and screwed it up. Now it's Time for you to own it and become a better person. You already took the biggest step by recognizing what you did. You can't undo it but you can become a better man because of it. Have You heard the expression don't cry over spilt milk? Yes i know it hurts and you want her back but it's obvious she isn't wanting to do so. If you love her, support her decisions. If You don't feel You can just be friend with her, then block her from your life. You are young and love will come again. We always see a breakup as the end of the world and it can be if you let it. Use this as a learning experience on how NOT to treat a woman and move forward with your life. If you feel you can't mentally do it, seek professional help, counseling, church group, etc.remember one thing. Most of us have been there. Every breakup was the worst one ever. Nothing will compare, i screwed up etc. My wife of 10 years and 3 kids was the 8th relationship i was in. It will happen again for you. Maybe not with her but maybe so if you show you are changed and you are different. Don't give up trying to be a better person

expiredroses13 05/04/2020

I’m glad you actually recognized what you did was wrong. Every relationship I’ve been in the person never realized what they were doing was wrong and hurt me. I understand how you feel. When my ex and I broke up I had no one, and hoped for him to come back even though he was absolutely horrible to me bc I was so alone. You have to learn to love yourself. Once I was able to start to love myself again I didn’t feel as alone, and didn’t feel as reliant on others. Hope you get better soon and improve your self. I’m always here to help.

Secouya 05/04/2020

MTS, like others have stated, you have recognized your errors. Work on improving. You may have done some of these things because you lack confidence or subconsciously you were not really in love with her or ready for a relationship. I would just be friends with her for now. If she loves you and knows you have changed, she may eventually forgive you. If you block her then you cut the relationship completely. You need to be prepared to move on. Like others have mentioned, you might consider taking to a counselor or therapist.

kmagodia2 05/04/2020

I am not a professional but I think I can tell you a thing or two because I have gone through the same scenario. I also had a girlfriend for 3 years and I used to treat her very badly by constantly pointing out on her weight and also used to flirt with other girls and compliment other girls on their looks in front of her. She blocked me when I called her she said she broke up with me and is dating someone else (which she actually was). All this happened within the span of two weeks after 3 years of relationship. I was in a horrible condition especially because we both were in a new country and apart from her I don't really know anyone and me being an introvert couldn't really be friends with anyone the way I was with her. But then my spiritual guide suggested me that all this happened because you were just using your girlfriend to make you feel complete. And she told me that if I learn how to be with my self and be happy with myself, doing fun things by myself for myself then you will feel complete again and then I will understand why I treated my girlfriend so badly even when I was so much in love with her.

In the beginning, I felt more depressed while trying to do fun stuff by myself. I was in fact making me miss her even more. But soon I started to learn that emptiness within me. And then I realized that actual true relationship comes from 2 complete people coming together and celebrating that completeness. It's not because they need each other or like they can't live without each other. Hence I feel you have the same kind of feeling from withing and hence I would suggest you to forcefully go out and do fun things by yourself, cry your heart out if doing that make you miss you girlfriend even more but after that, you will see that you have emptiness withing yourself and trust me after you fill up that emptiness your personality and behavior will change and your energy itself will attract this girl back to you if it was truly meant to be.

Best of luck!

Madetosparkle 05/07/2020

Hi I'm not really sure what to say
The guy I live with pushes me away all the time and I think I'm a sweet girl
I feel your pain especially at this very moment
If you'd like someone to talk to I'm available

cymbaline 05/08/2020

I suspect you have slightly mis-diagnosed what went wrong. Flirting isn't cheating. It's tacky, especially if you got caught, but the day-to-day disrespect hurled at your girlfriend is why you're single now. The flirt may have been the straw that broke the camel's back, but this was coming because you treated her poorly every day.

My personal take is that broken-up couples shouldn't try to be friends. One person was the reject-er, and the person who was dumped (in this case you) harbors hopes and fantasies of rekindling the relationship. You will see every kind word and phone call as a sign she's willing to go back with you and it will break your heart. I would tell her goodbye for at least six months. That will give you some space to reconnect with your make buddies, get into some social activity. It's an election year - and if it wasn't, there's your town's planning committee, or an environmental group, Big Brothers, your company bowling team, or tutoring underprivileged youth, or *something* to take up your time and add some structure to your week. (Well, not is the next couple weeks, but you get the idea.)

LostLioness 05/10/2020

I've had a similar experience, but from your gf side. Once the guy realized he messed up I agreed to be friends but told him he needed to be alone and figure things out. A few months later he began meeting with a therapist and because we were still communicating I noticed a change in his behavior and his willingness to change. Not for me, but because he wanted to be a better person. After several months we became very close friends and could lean on each other for a lot. He told me he didn't want me to take him back because he wanted to prove to me that he could be a better man. He's been honest with me and about two months ago I decided to give him another chance. So, work on yourself, confront your issues, and make yourself happy, but stay in touch with her, and when she sees a change, she just might be willing to give you another chance.

MamaStrong 05/22/2020

I think it’s good you started vocalizing here what you did. I encourage you- Go get more help. Maybe you did not see healthy relationships modeled Growing up? You have to learn how to forgive & love yourself because, if you did, you would not treat her or anyone that way. Give her the space to heal and hopefully she will love herself too & not let herself be treated that way by the next. Please get help so you do not repeat that pattern again. With God, all things are possible.

When someone likes a flower they cut it, keep the beauty for themselves and watch it slowly die before they throw it away. When someone loves a flower, they give it light and water to watch it grow.

Peke 06/01/2020

Its a good first step in your road to redemption that you recognize you were a piece of shit. That means there is hope for you, you have a conscience and with that the potential to be a better person.
You lost her and please let her life her life in peace. ALL THAT YOU WROTE HERE SHE probably she need to hear it, so tell it to her but do not gwt mad when she downt forgive you.. And you get help, own what you did, be a better person, move on and hopefully one day you'll be able to forgive yourself. But all this regret you are feeling g is a good signal, you are not destined to be a douchebag the rest of your life.

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