This is my first time posting and tbh I never wanted to get help, but it's gotten to the point where I just can't function and be happy anymore. The reason I'm asking for help is because my gf of almost 2 years just broke up with me and it was absolutely all my fault. Looking back at it I treated her absolutely horrible in every way. I always use to consider myself a good person, but after all I did to her I don't think I can ever love myself again. I constantly made her feel like she wasn't enough and I constantly put my girl best friend in front of her and made her feel like she wasn't good enough. I told her things that made her self conscious about her body and I even lied to her constantly, but the worst thing I ever did to her was flirt with a random girl so I would feel popular and cool and that’s considered cheating. I broke her trust, I broke her heart and the feelings she once had for me are destroyed. Tbh I could keep on talking forever about all the things I wish I could have done differently, but that’s never going to fix what I did. The worst part is I loved her more then anything in this world and for some reason I still did those things to her. Why would I do those things if I truly loved her? I’m so angry, disappointed and disgusted with myself and because of this I feel the need to punish myself. She wants to stay somewhat friends and nothing else, but I want more then that and it’s killing me inside. We use to hangout ever single day and now I’m lucky if she texts me once a day. I’ve tried extremely hard to move on, but I just can’t I really can’t. I don’t know if this DS thing will help me, but I’m out of options. Recently I’ve had extreme depression, anxiety and I’ve started having suicidal thoughts. I don’t have anyone that I can talk to for help so I have to ask my ex and that just hurts her even more. Should I just stay friends with her or should I block her and hope she decides to come back to me? I’m so sad and depressed all the time because I had the dream girl, but because I was selfish and Inconsiderate I pushed her away and now she’s probably gone for good.
Hi y'all I've been doing fairly well today with my anxiety .. but I was wondering if anyone still notices physical syptoms that still creep up even when not too anxious.. like I always have tinges of pain in my chest.. arms..neck ..etc.. or burning in my chest off and on .. Does anyone else experience this as well?
I'm sure a lot of people have been having a hard time during the lockdown. At the same time I can honestly say I've learnt a few things and had a lot of time to reflect on things. Some of these things were good. Others not so much. I think one of the biggest things I learned was the just how bad over thinking things can be. It's obviously necessary at times but turns out it may have hindered me a...